Grief and the Fangirl

Over the past week or two I’ve seen a few different posts that address the feelings of loss that some fans are feeling in relation to Richard Armitage and this fandom. More than just loss, grief has been spoken of.

When I read that I thought, surely not.

For me the word grief is attributed to how I felt when my best friend died at 18 years old from cancer. Or four years ago when one of my aunts and my father passed away within a twelve hour time period. In both cases, I felt as if the world had ended, or at least like it should have. I cried until I couldn’t cry anymore. I lamented the fact that my dear friend should have had a lifetime ahead of her. I raged at the fact that if my dad had only taken better care of himself he wouldn’t have had the health problems that led to his death at 59 years old. In some senses I pulled away from my friends because no matter how much they genuinely cared about me and wanted to be there for me, they just couldn’t understand the loss. There was this aching hollow in my heart, that even now I’m not sure will ever heal completely. Sure, life goes on, but those people are never coming back and the void they left can’t be filled.

So, when I read that fans grieve in regards to Richard and the fandom, I thought maybe I had a narrow view of grief and went to look up the definition.

Grief (according to Merriam-Webster):

a : deep and poignant distress caused by or as if by bereavement

b : a cause of such suffering

I suppose I have to conceded that perhaps there are fans that do feel bereaved in deep or poignant ways. I am just having a hard time reconciling my personal experiences with grief to understand the grief of a fangirl? What does that grief look like? Surely it isn’t the bone deep ache that comes with the loss of a loved one. If it is, why? How have fans become so emotionally involved with an actor that they grieve so hard, so deeply? And I guess my real question/concern is this: Is such grief healthy?

I’ll admit that I’m also confused as I just don’t see anything to grieve over. The source of the grief seems to stem directly from the good things that are happening in Richard Armitage’s career and how that effects the fandom. We want him to be successful in his endeavors, don’t we? Like Judiang, I see the lessening of Richard Armitage’s personal relationship with his fans as an inevitability. Like Servetus, I’m very much looking forward to the influx of new fans that are sure to come, and the potential positive changes that will bring about it the fandom.

If you are grieving, I don’t begrudge you your feelings. I just want a better understanding.

Update: Because this post has been linked elsewhere, I feel the need to address something. This post was not “directed” at Judi. To me that seems to imply I was spoiling for a fight. I had a reaction to the choice of one word that prompted a lot of thought on my part and led me to this post. Judi, if you thought I was “directing” this post at you, I apologize for that.

Nerdy Fangirl Alert

This post has nothing to do with RA. (I’m going with the “Me and My Thoughts” part of the blog name for this post. ;)) This is about a recent embarrassing fangirl squeeing moment. I LOVE the show Firefly-one of my favorites, hence the nerd girl alert. This is a show that I rewatch once or twice a year, even though there is only one season. Watching the show must of course be followed by watching Serenity (the major motion picture follow up to the show). You’re probably wondering why I’m mentioning this. I’ve discovered another quirky sci-fi show, courtesy of Netflix streaming. (I love Netflix, it did introduce me to RA!)

 

 

Anyway, this show that I’ve discovered recently is called Warehouse 13. It is about these government agents who work out of a warehouse in South Dakota. Myka and Pete are the two main field agents and they have great chemistry and banter. Their job is to find “artifacts” that have powers and threaten the world. I’m really enjoying this show, even going so far as to mention to members of my family that it kind of reminded me of Firefly.

 

 

 

So, tonight we’re watching Warehouse 13 and two of my favorite characters from Firefly are suddenly on the screen. I’m slightly ashamed to admit that I jumped up and annouced, “Oh my God, Simon and Kaylee are on this show!!!” My family looked at me like I was crazy, then laughed before they resumed watching the show.

 

 

Yeah, so that’s it. Nothing too terribly exciting. But seeing as RA’s fangirls squee on occasion, I thought you all might understand the momentary elation quickly followed by embarrassment. Oh, and if you like sci-fi, I’d recommend this show! 🙂

The Beginnings of Fangirling and a GIF

This will probably be a bit of a ramble, so prepare yourselves.

Something about this time of year makes me want to watch “The Vicar of Dibley.” The only way to describe this show is hilarious…okay, irreverent is also a good word for the show as well. I came across this show thanks to the suggestions of my Netflix queue (it was available for streaming at the time). If you have never seen it (I’m talking to those who stubble by here for the recipes) and can take some colorful humor, this is a great show.  At some point while I was working my way through VoD, Netflix also recommended a little mini-series called “North & South”. There is a copy of “North & South” in my parent’s home, which I had avoided for years, because I thought it was about the Civil war (although I did think the man on the cover was quite attractive…and I would come to learn that picture doesn’t even do him justice). But, when I read the synopsis Netflix so helpfully provided, I saw that it was based on a novel by Elisabeth Gaskell and I love “Wives and Daughters“. Anyway, I watched “North & South” at that point and became enamored with a certain tall, dark and handsome cotton manufacturer. So, I’m sure that all of you other Richard Armitage fans out there can imagine my excitement when I got to the last couple of episodes of “The Vicar of Dibley,” and saw who the handsome stranger was. 🙂

Well, all of that to say…I thought I would use my still newly acquired gif making skills to pay tribute to one Harry Jasper Kennedy.

It just occurred to me that this sounds a bit like an advertisement for Netflix. While that wasn’t my intention…they did introduce me to the work of one Richard Armitage, so thanks for that.

Wallpaper-A First Attempt

I made this a while ago, when those extra pictures of Richard Armitage from the Project Magazine shoot came out. I had just gotten Adobe Photoshop and thought I would try my hand at making a wallpaper. Let me know what you think.

Project Magazine Wallpaper-The original images are courtesy of http://www.richardarmitagenet.com/

I may have to give making wallpaper another go with those gorgeous Recognise Magazine pictures ;).