Richard Armitage: One Private Guy

I think I mentioned this when I was doing the 30 Day Challenge, but one of the things I like best about Richard Armitage is how he manages to keep his private life out of the news. Living in an age when the lives of anyone with a public profession are splattered all over the tabloids and entertainment shows on TV, it seems like an even bigger accomplishment to notΒ have your private affairs on display for public consumption.

His privacy has been on my mind a lot of late as I’ve noticed the uptick in searches for information about who he’s dating and if he’s married. Not because I think people shouldn’t look. Truth be told, I searched for all of that kind of stuff when I first became a fan. I tend to think it is naturalΒ curiosityΒ that leads us to look for such information. No, it has been on my mind lately because I’m finding myself even more appreciative those details just aren’t available to us.

In the past there have been actors whose work I really enjoyed, but when I was constantly seeing their faces on magazines at the grocery store checkout or seeing some segment about them while flipping through channels, I stopped being able to distinguish between the actor and the character. I still watch shows and movies with such actors in them, but I’m never able to fully forget that it’s so-and-so. In fact, more often than not, I can’t remember the character’s name. Instead, if I’m telling someone about the movie it will be something more like, “Oh, you know the movie where so-and-so plays that character who is…”.

I honestly think the lack of information is part of what has kept me so enthralled these last few years. What fun would watching Mr. A’s roles be if I couldn’t see past him to really enjoy Mr. Thornton, Lucas, JP, Guy or Thorin?

As I see more and more searches, I find my curiosity rising too. But at the same time I know that learning such details could ruin something that brings me a lot of joy. So while I wish for him to be able to maintain as private a life as he chooses, I’m also selfish. I want the mystery to remain in tact so that I can continue to see the characters and not the man who brings them to life.

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64 thoughts on “Richard Armitage: One Private Guy

  1. obscura

    Well said. I’ve thought about this a lot too, and I actually find the lack of information liberating in a way, since it frees my imagination to run wild without the tedium of facts πŸ™‚

    • I too like the fact that my imagination can roam free without being constrained by too many facts. Just another reason to like that he’s a man of mystery! πŸ™‚

  2. I very much agree with that, Jasrangoon. How can an actor be a foil for a character when we associate his face with his private life? Some things are better kept out of the public. Doesn’t stop us from imagining, though *gg*.
    Anyway, wanted to say to you that I really loved reading Maggie & John. Congrats on that – can’t wait to read more. You were so detailed and descriptive with the sights in Paris – you must have been there yourself. (Sorry for commenting OT – for some reason I was unable to comment on the relevant posts themselves)

    • Many actors would do well to learn that less information about them in the public could actually be a good thing. As far as the imagination goes, I tend to think we probably imagine more because there of the lack of known facts.

      I’m so glad you are enjoying the Maggie and John story! The comments here have been acting up a lot. I would try and respond to people earlier and it would send me to an error page, so no worries about commenting OT. I’m flattered that you think I must have been to Paris because of the details. Only in my dreams! πŸ˜‰ With all the research I’ll be prepared to make the trip someday.

  3. Every time I see someone plastered all over the tabloids or gossip magazines with some salacious headline and can see that they’ve solicited that attention I lose a little bit of respect for them. I have so much respect for Mr Armitage!

    • I agree. There are some people for whom the attention is obviously an intrusion, but for a lot of them the photographs in public and articles are planned ahead of time or information is intentionally leaked in order to stay on the cover of gossip magazines. Maybe they should spend more time honing their craft instead of trying to stay in the spotlight.

      • Yes! I assume that if you need to court attention to gain notoriety as an actor then your talent must be somewhat lacking!

  4. Hi Jas,
    Nice essay! Richard Armitage has proven himself to be a “role model” for how to conduct himself as a public figure–in the entertainment industry, or any professional sphere–with a gentlemanly poise and grace that more actors and filmmakers would do well to emulate.

    And I am also glad that Mr. Armitage is able to maintain a personal sphere just for himself. We fans will go merrily along with enjoying his gifts of storytelling to us.

    And giggles to Obscura for her comment about all of our active imaginations. Ha!

    Cheers! Grati ;->

    • Grati, I won’t be surprised if we see more of him in paparazzi shots as Black Sky and the remaining Hobbit films come out. I would however be shocked if we saw him suddenly courting the attention. Like I said in my post, I totally get the curiosity that leads people to look for such personal information. I’m just grateful it isn’t available to me, because I’d gobble it up and it would ruin my ability to enjoy his performances.

      • Jane

        It is mystery to me how he has managed to escape that to date. He must be really very good at not drawing attention toward himself respectively not being recognized at all because his fame as a TV actor in the UK usually should be enough to get that kind of treatment.

        • I don’t know about the UK, but in the US a lot of the supposed random shots of celebs are set up. Or, they frequent restaurants where paparazzi are known to hang around hoping to get photos. Maybe RA just chooses to avoid such situations.

  5. Like you, I’ve had tons of searches relating to RA’s girlfriend, wife, etc. and the post I did ages ago on Annabel Capper remains most popular. I love the fact there is air of mystery around Richard–that mystique makes him more appealing for me.

    There are actors, musicians and others I believe have real talent but allow their personal lives be splashed all over the pages all too often due to their own foolish behavior,and that keeps popping back into my mind. It overshadows their performances for me, frankly.

    When I see people whom I consider totally without talent plastered all over and inside celebrity mags (Kardashians, can you all feel my scorn?) and know they’ve gone out of their way to court all the attention, my respect is zero (can it be less than zero??). It’s exactly as Kathryn Ruth said: if you have to go that route, you must be lacking in the actual talent department.

    Richard is such a refreshing, delightful, irresistible contrast to all that. Vive Richard! πŸ˜€

    • Don’t get me started on people like the Kardashians! I don’t understand the desire for fame that such people have. Even more so, I don’t understand why there is such a high demand for reality shows about people who are famous for being famous. It doesn’t speak very highly of our society, does it?

  6. Reblogged this on the armitage effect and commented:
    Jas reflects my own thoughts beautifully here. Thank goodness for our modest, humble, truly talented and private Mr. Armitage.

  7. Laurie C

    Amen to all of the above. I love the “mystery” of Richard. I think he intrigues us so much because of his reticence to be in the spot light. I makes him seem like such a classy guy! There are actors who I don’t want to see anymore because I’m soooo sick of hearing about their lives (Tom Cruise to name one)!

    • Laurie, I am so with you on Tom Cruise. He is a perfect example of how one’s personal life overshadows his work. Although, to be honest, I was never much of a TC fan to begin with.

  8. bollyknickers

    There is another actor i’ve liked for years but one thing that puts me off somewhat is that he has been married 4 times. If he had kept them as girlfriends (and out of the press) i probably wouldn’t think much of it but because he has declared them his partners, i can’t help wondering what is wrong with him! And i know that’s hypocritical but it’s honestly how i feel. It’s quite possible RA has had 4 live in partners over the last 20 years but i don’t know about it so i don’t speculate that he might have some disgusting trait that drives women away!

    OTOH i entertained a theory RA met someone special in NZ – just from a couple of things he said and probably just my romantic notions getting away from me. When he said he was single (after much prodding from an interviewer – maybe the one in Glamour?) i wondered how it would feel for a partner to hear that. Even if it had been discussed and agreed on, i imagine it would hurt. So i wonder how he manages that, and what effect it has on his relationships.

    • obscura

      That difficulty in maintaining privacy coupled with the challenges of distance has to take a toll on any relationship, especially romantic ones where expectations tend to be high. It’s really no wonder so many celebrity relationships crash and burn. I agree though, seems wiser to be circumspect than to advertise the revolving door in any case (if indeed there is one πŸ™‚ ) Given the increasingly inquisitive media, it might get a bit more challenging.

      • It can’t be easy. It’s a profession where there can be a lot of rejection and, I would guess, a lot of temptation. Many ordinary people not living a sort of fishbowl existence have relationship troubles, but it certainly seems to run more rampant in celebs’ lives.

        Some celebs seem to have an almost pathological need to be with/be seen with someone else in the limelight. And then you have Taylor Swift, a talented and seemingly sweet girl who I would take more seriously if she wasn’t in love with a new guy every other week. And really, Taylor, you are in your 20s now. Teenage boys are not really an option anymore . . .
        Anyway, back to Mr. Armitage.

        I hope he can continue to have some degree of privacy about his personal life, even if it may become harder to fly under that radar as he has done. I do find myself hoping he has found someone special because, as I wish for anyone I really care for, I want him to have satisfaction and happiness in his personal as well as his professional life.

    • Jane

      I don’t think one can reasonably expect that the relationships of actors or celebs last long than a few years. I certainly don’t. I expect all married actors to get divorced sooner or later and I don’t think less of them. If all relationships of a celeb only last a few weeks to a few months I may wonder if they aren’t capable of having a serious relationship with anyone.

      It is entirely possible that you’re right about developments in NZ and if it is true, all the better for them. Given previous behaviour I think he could well stick to saying he’s single even if that isn’t the case any longer. We will see. It is certainly possible to let such news leak in a low-key and tasteful manner.

    • Bollyknickers, it is having those kinds of details so out in the open for everyone to see that makes seeing the character versus the actor hard for me. If RA suddenly started being seen everywhere, and the details of his private life were on display, I would respect his right to do so, but it would probably have an impact on me as a fan. I’m convinced that the mystery is a huge part of why I’m able to connect with his characters so much, and be fascinated with RA.

      That mystery is also what enables personal theories about him meeting someone in NZ! I love that idea by the way. πŸ™‚

      • bollyknickers

        Jas – Yes, i can see what you mean and i have been chewing the possibility that part of RA’s ‘pull’ is the mystery over in my mind for a couple of days. Honestly, i don’t know whether i feel the same as you or not because no actor has created this reaction for me in the past. I’ve happily had crushes on actors who are married/ gay/ otherwise unavailable (including being dead!) but nothing of this intensity. My feeling, though, is that my fascination would continue unabated as long as nothing emerged that was morally abhorrent to me. So as long as he doesn’t abuse children or animals or marry a Kardashian, he’s probably safe!

        • Ah, please NOOOOOOO. The thought of RA being mixed up with a Kardashian makes my skin crawl. *shudder* πŸ˜‰ Truthfully, I guess it would take something pretty horrible–child molester, serial killer, abusive to women–hooking up with a Kardashian– to change my feelings about him.

          • I’m laughing at the fact that hooking up with a Kardashian ranks up there with child abuse and serial murder. But I agree, it would take something really horrible to make me dislike him or even lower my opinion of him.

        • Bollyknickers, this is the first fangirling experience like this for me as well. I think my fascination with him would continue even if we were to learn more about him. I can’t ever imagine a scenario where he become like the actors that are inseparable from their private lives, so I’m not too worried. Gosh, RA and a Kardashian–I’m shuddering at such an idea!!!

          • LOL I feel like the protective parent when I say a Kartrashian is simply not good enough for our boy. But the truth is, if Richard is the sort of man I believe him to be–they AREN’T. He’s too classy a guy and one who seems to have no desire to pimp himself out to the highest bidder in order to get publicity.

            Bolly is right: there is no “one size fits all” when it comes to relationships. For all any of us know, if he is indeed in a relationship, the significant other is publicity-shy and prefers to stay out of the limelight, That might be difficult for some people to fathom–my gosh, if you’ve “landed” RA, you’d want to show that off to the world, right???–well, maybe and maybe not. What’s right or comfortable for you might not be for someone else.

            As for Fran and Peter–well, those youngsters they made seem real enough. πŸ˜‰

      • obscura

        Oh man ….that the real bar of repugnance is a Kardashian connection is the funniest thing I’ve heard all day! (I don’t disagree mind you)

  9. Jane

    This may be an unpopular opinion but I would like to have a little more information and I also think that publicity-wise it would be better if more info would be available. I’m not talking about having his face plastered on the front pages of tabloids or him being followed by paparazzi all the time, but it is the norm that it is known with whom someone is if they are in a serious relationship (not necessarily a marriage in this day and age). This kind of information is available about most of his Hobbit co-stars I am aware of, not just those with a family but for someone younger like Aidan Turner as well. That almost no info is out there about his past and current partners may give the impression he has something to hide and the result is that a ton of gossip that is based on very little is what people find. You can’t prevent people from googling and from drawing conclusions and from posting their opinion. Not everyone follows the “let’s respect his privacy” rule, certainly not new or casual fans. In the end it is his business how he handles the question of his private life and I’m sure he has discussed it with his PR people, but he will have to live with the result.

    • Obscura

      I think you make a fair point here Jane…it’s unfortunate but true, that in the absence of information, people speculate wildly about things that really are irrelevant in the grand scheme of things and the internet has given them a global forum to make such speculations public. It could well be that there really is nothing to tell – who knows. What a sad commentary on modern society that would be if someone had to invent a personal life to ward off possible speculation.

      • Jane

        It may well be that there is nothing to tell at the moment, after all there are people that focus on their work and find it hard to build up close relationships between three continents. However, there are also people that think what may be believable for the ordinary geek or geek girl can never be true for a hot guy like RA. People expect others to follow a certain pattern and if they don’t they draw their own conclusions and RA is certainly someone who doesn’t follow the expected pattern when it come to his private life.

        I personally think some of the rumours flowing around will stick forever because the “information” will be out there on the internet forever and in the absence of other facts will be regarded as the truth by some and that may be worse than a paparazzi pic of RA having dinner with a female date. I know paparazzi pics are usually considered a terrible evil but if someone has nothing to hide that could harm him they can actually be positive publicity and provide the public with the information they simply expect to find.

    • I’m sure there are a lot of people who would like for more information to be out there about him, Jane. I freely admit to curiosity, but like I said, such information interferes with my ability to see the character instead of the actor.

      I’m honestly not sure more information being made available to the public would be better for him. Who knows, maybe he does have something to hide. Or maybe he dates people who don’t want to share his spotlight, or maybe he really just isn’t dating anyone.There are several actors at the moment who are really open about whom they are dating–usually other female actors or musicians–and they are plagued constantly by rumors about their sexuality. So I don’t see how being more open has done them any favors. Yes there will always be rumors on the internet, but without solid facts to back them up, they are just rumors. I like to think most people are smart enough to figure that out.

      Ultimately, like you said it is his business as to what and how much about himself he reveals. I was just expressing the fact that I’m actually glad their isn’t a whole lot available to me, because if there were more, I would read it.

      • Obscura

        That is the conundrum isn’t it…if they print it, I will probably read it.

      • Jane

        Let’s say it is way to late to make more information available now. It would look forced and deliberate. Discretion and possibly getting caught some day is the only option he has now.

        • It doesn’t sit well we me to say those are his only options. Frankly, I feel like his options are as broad as he wants them to be. Sure people would probably find it forced if he was suddenly more open about his private life, but then you can’t make everyone happy.

      • bollyknickers

        I’ve always assumed that the reason RA isn’t seen with dates is not because he is hiding anything but because he doesn’t want them to be exposed. So not so much about his privacy but those he cares about. I think that’s why the only person we have seen him out with is Annabel Capper, who presumably doesn’t mind the publicity.

        • I don’t really think he has something to hide. πŸ˜‰ My point was that whatever his reasons for keeping his personal life private are irrelevant. The fact of the matter is that he’s just chosen to go that route. If he is keeping people he cares about out of the spotlight because he doesn’t want to expose them, or they don’t want to be exposed, I find that admirable.

          • I wonder sometimes if we’ve gone so far in the direction of letting it all hang out–I am thinking of some of the reality shows here where people will say or do almost anything for their 15 minutes of fame–that someone trying to retain a reasonable degree of privacy in their lives is seen as more the exception than the norm. As if there automatically HAS to be something unseemly they are “hiding” because they aren’t spilling their guts every time we turn around.

            Give me a reticent Richard Armitage over a John Mayer who blabs about how women behave in bed with him any old day. I am just not much for douche bags, frankly.

            • Amen! I would much rather an actor or musician refrain from sharing every detail of their lives with us. John Mayer is a great example! If he were an actor, there is no way I could watch him in a role without seeing John “Let Me Tell You About All My Conquests” Mayer.

              I think you are right, there has been this shift in our culture where fame and stardom are no longer just the byproduct of certain career paths, but the goal for so many. How sad is that?

              • For many the goal seems to be gaining notoriety at almost any cost so they can cash in it. Some of these reality show “stars” go from one dating show to another, apparently looking less for “true love” and more for a shot at fame and fortune. It doesn’t say very attractive things about our culture that we seem to lap up all that. I mean, these shows are successful and have their fans . . .it is very sad.

                I can’t listen to a John Mayer song now without thinking of him as Mr. Serial Kiss and Tell. : -/ There is truly something to be said for gentlemanly behavior, a quality I have always admired in general and one which RA definitely seems to possess.

                • bollyknickers

                  I have a friend who is a senior exec at one of our commercial channel. When i (frequently) complain about the low standard of what they show, he says that the majority of the population have a very short attention span and can’t cope with anything too intellectual. And as it is all about ratings to sell the advert breaks, that’s all the TV companies care about. I argue that if people’s attention spans are decreasing it is because of the low standard of the TV shows on offer. As you can imagine, he goes a bit pale when he sees me now.

                  Thank heavens for the ABC and all it’s British imports.

      • bollyknickers

        I hope i didn’t imply i thought you were saying he had something to hide Jas! i didn’t get that impression from you at all! But i have heard that accusation elsewhere.

        • I didn’t think you were implying that. But given how often people misinterpret what is said online, I figured it was probably best to clarify in case someone came along later and read these comments.

  10. Nice post JasRangoon. πŸ™‚

    Like Gratiana says, I’m also happy that Richard can maintain his personnal sphere. I don’t think I want to see him on every magazine cover, especially in the tabloids or gossip magazines.

    • Thanks, April. I agree wholeheartedly about not wanting to see him plastered all over tabloids or gossip magazines. I can’t imagine that happening though.

  11. Of course I do not know RA, but it would be near impossible to keep a woman this much of a secret. I could be wrong, but I really think that RA simply is not seriously involved with anyone. It is one thing to not talk about your personal life, but there is no way if you are in a relationship that you are never going to be spotted anyplace with that person. You cannot hide a human being. RA attended premieres of The Hobbit all over the world, yet there is not one photo of a woman who could be a significant other. Do not bother trying to tell me that RA would leave a very special woman at home and not take her out to share in his special moments just to avoid questions. I have heard that said by many fans of his and to me that is terribly naive and just plain makes no sense. For as many hearts as RA would break, having a girlfriend is not a top secret event. So maybe people should simply consider that RA has nothing to talk about as far as that goes. RA has been putting his career up front as his main priority so how would he be able to form an attachment of that magnitude?

    As I said, I do not know RA, but I just feel that if he did have a girlfriend he would have been spotted with her already. Richard Armiatge is not in a witness protection program. He does not have to give details about a relationship but they would be seen.

    • bollyknickers

      Xenia – fans who speculate that RA has a partner but doesn’t take them to red carpet events are not being naive. I’ve worked in relationship counselling for 7 years and one thing i know is that you cannot make assumptions about what is going on in another persons relationship. What would be untenable for some, works perfectly well for others.

      Fran Walsh didn’t join Peter Jackson for the publicity tour. They have rarely been photographed together in the 20 odd years they have been together. Does that mean their relationship does not exist?

      • Well said, bollyknickers.

      • Jane

        I think logistically it is perfectly possible to date or live with a someone and no-one finds out. We still have no clue what RA does most of the time. He still doesn’t get recognised or photographed, so in his private life he can go out with whomever he wants and we won’t know about it. He certainly behaves like someone in a witness protection program, I sometimes think, he may have borrowed Gollum’s ring to make himself invisible.

        But you are a very good example for a person who thinks it is just not believable that he would keep a partner completely out of the limelight when things are serious. Because it is just not what normal people do. If they don’t seek media attention, they still attend events together, they don’t make a show of it, but the partner can be seen somewhere in the background. Well, he has done it in the past, said he has a girlfriend he lives with, but refused to give her name, because, as he said, he wanted to keep that part of his life for himself, and attended big award shows with his agent, when his girlfriend was at home or working or whatever. In the very early days he also said he’s single and later said he has been dating someone for a year. It is what he does, in the past he has given a little bit of information but I think by now he is more careful. I do consider that he might have met someone, but never expected to see someone by his side at the Hobbit premiers. A lot of people think like Xenia but that is the norm and it makes them wonder.

      • Bollyknickers, my comment is how I feel and I have to be honest. I am not making assumptions about RA’s relationships as far as what goes on in them as would be the case with your relationship counseling. All I am saying is that it would be very difficult to completely hide a human being from the entire world all the time. I was using the red carpet as one example. The red carpets are just one aspect of life (at least for an actor). I just simply find it hard to swallow that RA would not go out anyplace at all with her and at no time would they ever be seen anyplace. I am sorry, but I just cannot swallow that and I am a person who is usually on the naive side of things. RA is obviously a private person, but what about the normal things that two people do? It is still true that RA is not much recognized in the streets. He could very well be walking down the street with a girlfriend and no one has noticed them.

        Yes, Fran Walsh did not join Peter Jackson on the entire publicity tours but we knew she existed so it is not the same thing. Fran Walsh works with her husband but when it comes to publicity she is shy as Peter has said. I would also say that Fran Walsh is probably not tops on the list of people to photograph anyway; no disrespect intended. Fran is not deliberately hiding from the world and Peter Jackson has always acknowledged her. Fran and Peter also have children so it makes sense that she would not attend all the publicity tours with him.

        I don’t understand why it is so difficult to consider that maybe RA is simply not in a relationship at this time. It is a possibility and that could be the reason for no clues and no trail. Yes, I admit that he could be seeing someone, but he also could NOT be.

        I was not aware of RA when he was living with his girlfriend so I am not aware of him leaving her at home while he attended big events with his agent instead as Jane mentioned. I do find that odd considering that he was not a “big name” celebrity at that time. Most still had no idea who he was and he never was recognized on the street according to RA himself.

        I am so much a fan of Richard Armitage and support him 1000%. I love his acting and to me he is one of the best, but having said all that I still do see him as a human being like the rest of us. I do LOVE his personality but I don’t romanticize it (except in my dreams) or the things he does or does not do. I totally agree that he is a private person and would not make a relationship with a woman the subject of conversation for the public. Good for him! I just don’t see him making such a huge federal case out of it and never going out anyplace with her in public. This is only my view; no one has to buy into it.

        • Xenia, I think we all respect your right to hold whatever opinion you choose. I also haven’t seen anyone outright refute the idea that RA may in fact be single. With the busy schedule that he keeps maintaining a romantic relationship is probably incredibly hard and at times impossible.

          All of that said, the “terribly naive” remark was guaranteed to get a response as such wording seemed an attempt to invalidate any views that believe he may have a partner whom he keeps out of the spotlight.

  12. Jane

    To play the devil’s advocate, would you all say what you say now if he would behave like Martin Freeman or a ton of other guys that are first and foremost actors and not celebrities but don’t feel the need to hide their private life? Would it distract from his performance or be too much information if he would mention that his kids visited him on set or that he missed them because they couldn’t be with him all the time and if there would be a wife or girlfriend on the red carpet? RA isn’t a blank sheet when it comes to other aspects of his private life. We know he likes skiing and he plays instruments and we know about his house in London. We know about his family and were delighted to get a glimpse on his mother. Does that distract as well?

    • bollyknickers

      Xenia- of course you are entitled to an opinion and to express it honestly. But, in my view, it was unfair to state that anyone who holds a different opinion to you on this matter is ‘terribly naive’. My dictionary defines ‘naive’ as “lacking in experience, judgement or information” so perhaps you can see why I felt the need to refute that.

      For the record, I do not find it ‘difficult to accept that RA is not in a relationship’ but neither do I discount it.

      All of which is taking us away from Jas’ original question- which is ( as i understand it):
      a). do we really want to know more about RA,
      B). if we did, how would that affect our perception and enjoyment of his characters and
      c). is a natural desire to be privy to any new information, combined with a desire to indulge in fantasy unfettered by fact, paradoxical?

      Jane- I was actually thinking of Richard’s co stars when I was mulling this conundrum over earlier. Martin Freeman is a very good example of someone who is open about his family life and yet manages to retain his privacy. Andy Serkis is another. However, as I don’t lust after either of them, this didn’t get me very far.

      At this point, my conclusions on the above questions are:
      a). Yes
      B). No – as long as I am fantasising about a character, not the actor
      C). Yes

      • Bollyknickers, thanks for pointing back to what I was originally getting at with the post. This post was almost solely about how I personally appreciate that RA isn’t one of those actors who is so very open about his private life because knowing too much about him could alter my perception of him when in character. The fantasy thing came up in comments, but I do see where more knowledge could have an impact on that aspect of fandom…such as your example of entertaining the theory that he’d met someone in NZ.

    • Martin Freeman isn’t a good example of what I was contrasting Richard against. Martin’s wife does red carpet events with him and yes he talks about his children visiting him on set. However, he and his family aren’t plastered all over magazines going about their daily business. I actually think he and actors like him have found a nice balance of public and private.

      A better example would be Tom Cruise. Between his very public marriages, the couch jumping, the fact that he and Katie Holmes and their child seemed to be on every tabloid or gossip magazine regularly it all adds up to make it hard to see him as anything but Tom Cruise.

      • obscura

        Don’t forget all of his clinically sound medical advice. πŸ˜‰ I totally agree with your point here…TC is an extreme example, and I was never much of a fan, but I just can’t watch him at all anymore.

        • LOL! How could anyone forget all that sound medical advice? πŸ˜‰ TC is an extreme example, but I thought he was a good choice to show exactly what I’m talking about. I’m not angling to have RA only come out under the cover of darkness, in disguise to boot. I’m just glad we aren’t regularly inundated with details about his personal life. I’m more of a moderation in everything kind of girl, although that probably sounds strange coming from a girl with a blog about an actor. πŸ˜‰

          • obscura

            Yep, TC is my go to example of keeping way too high a public profile -you run the risk of becoming a caricature of yourself. I’ve reflected on your original point, and I think that you’re on to something in terms of the “mystery” being a potent part of RA’s allure. It wasn’t what drew me in the first place, but it may well be a part of what keeps me fascinated. Maybe that’s all part of the master plan, always keep the guessing…muhaha… πŸ™‚

            • Now I am imagining Richardi wearing all black with an extremely sly smile on his face (Thinking of Sir Guy here) holding a large long-haired white cat in his arms and stroking it. “Yes, it’s all part of my eeee-vil master plan to capture them ALLLLL . . .” LOL
              I think I have a blog post brewing in my head related to whole mystique and allure angle. Might be a few days though . . .

      • obscura

        I don’t think your fangirl blog automatically excludes you from practicing moderation πŸ™‚ I try to do the same (emphasis on TRY) It seems like such a no brainer to me – a part of philosophical systems the world over, yet sometimes sooooo hard to achieve . I’m with you…keep doing what he’s always done – it seems to have served him fairly well.

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  14. Mezz

    Great post Jas, and I’ve enjoyed reading the discussion, I’m sorry I’ve come to it so late.
    Because I’ve long given up on the “why RA?” question when it comes to my besottedness, I hadn’t really considered that it’s his mystique, that, like obscura, is a part of what keeps me fascinated.
    Would I like to see and read more about him? Absolutely, I’d soak it up, but does it worry or irritate me that it’s not out there? No, I’ve always admired him for the private man that he is, that’s also a part of his appeal for me. I’ve never been one for the TC’s of this world.

    BTW I too, love the idea that he’s found someone in NZ, ever since he started filming and living there it has been my wish that he finds happiness in a relationship there, and if that’s the case, I’m happy for him that so far it’s been under the radar.

    • Welcome to the discussion, Mezz.

      I think the mystique issue has always been kind of there in the back of my mind as something that really keeps me interested in the man. Seeing all of the searches for information about his personal life of late just brought the issue to the forefront for me. I think I said to someone else, that if the information was available I would gobble it up. I know myself well enough to know the absolute truthfulness of that statement. But I do seriously question if it would impact my fangirling in some way. Like you, I’m all for his revealing or not whatever he chooses…although I draw the line at Tom Cruise levels of openness. πŸ˜‰

      One thing I love so much about this community is all the good will sent his way. That there are so many of us who just want him to find happiness in whatever form that takes for him.

    • Jane

      To be honest, finding someone in NZ would turn out to be a bit difficult, he can’t live there permanently, so it would require that person to move, assuming it is a Kiwi. Of course, it doesn’t have to be a Kiwi. For someone who works all over the world, maintaining a stable relationship will always be difficult.

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