WTF dReAm

Yesterday, after posting my racing The Hobbit cast dream, I went back and looked at my other dream post. I’d totally forgotten about the one where I was a man pregnant with Richard’s child! I think I must have been blocking it out. 😉 However, the realization that I’d already posted a dream such as that–one that could potentially get some knickers in a twist–I decided to go ahead and post another of my recent dreams.

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I rise from bed and pad into the kitchen. There at the counter I climb onto a bar stool and see the paper and magazines laid out. As I’m flipping through, one article immediately catches my attention.

“Is Richard Armitage being kept out of the spotlight by his managers?”

Intrigued, I read through the article and am astonished by what I see. The reserved, private actor is in the midst of a controversy, having admitted in an interview towards the end of The Hobbit press conference that he likes, of all things, corndogs. Horrified by the possible backlash, it is rumored that that his PR team are working on damage control. Not only that, but they’ve insisted that the star return to his usual under the radar persona until things cool down.

That’s it? That doesn’t sound scandalous at all. There has to be more to this that what the article indicates. So what if he likes corn dogs. I like them too. They may not be the healthiest food, but as an occasional indulgence, I don’t see a problem.

There must be some slang definition I don’t know about. Having decided that this must be the case, I pull my laptop towards me, and boot it up. While waiting, I idly wonder what possible meaning “corn dog” could have as I sip my coffee.

Computer booted, I pull up my web browser, and type in the address for the one website I know will have answers to my question—Urban Dictionary. I type in “corn dog” and can feel myself holding my breath as I press enter, anxious and slightly nervous about what possible definitions might pop up.

The page loads and I scroll down. At what I see, I nearly spray coffee out of my mouth in shock.

Corn dog: A rough hand job, performed in a public location by a stranger, usually another male.


HOLY CRAP!!!

I cannot believe what I’ve just read. Richard Armitage is so notoriously private that such an admission seems impossible. My mind is spinning and spinning as I try and make sense of what I’ve read.

Ring, Ring, Ring

I jolted wide a wake and jumped out of bed to answer the phone. I’m still curious where this dream might have gone were it not for my abrupt wake up call.

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FYI: When I looked up “corn dog” in a waking state—how could I not—I discovered there isn’t a definition even close to the one found in my dream.

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24 thoughts on “WTF dReAm

  1. jazzbaby1

    *Hands Jas flame-retardant jammies*

  2. Whoooaaaaa. I was thinking to myself I had never heard of a corn dog as being anything but a hot dog dipped in batter and deep-fried, traditional county fair food, but I admit I am not totally up on all urban slang. 😉 You ARE having some very interesting dreams of late, Jas. One to ponder.

    • I had never heard of a corn dog being anything else either! The dreams are really crazy. But, I did some research this morning about gluten-withdrawal. Apparently vivid dreams can be a symptom I think that must be what I’m dealing with. According to what I read it can take as long as three months to get over the withdrawal symptoms and I cheated and had some wheat over Christmas and at the beginning of January.

      • Ah, that sounds like it could be a very valid reason. My dreams have been a lot more vivid of late and I wondered if all the supplements I started taking had anything to do with it. ??

        • I wish I could remember if I was going through gluten withdrawal the last time I was having vivid dreams. It would help me make sense of why I suddenly am having them.

          That would be interesting if the supplements caused you to have more vivid dreams. Do you take any prescription drugs that might cause dreams? My mom has a few that she takes for her FMS that give such vivid dreams that she’ll actually talk and make gestures with her arms while she’s sleeping. One time she was conducting a choir!

          • It’s possible the Cymbalta has some effect, although I have been taking it for a while. Sometimes the muscle relaxers seem to give me weird dreams—I take those as needed. I once woke up to find Benny trying to drag me out of bed to take me to the hospital. Apparently I was talking in my sleep and crying out in pain saying I thought I was having a heart attack. Thankfully, I wasn’t.

            My dad actually walked in his sleep. Once I found him under my mother’s sewing machine cabinet, talking about how it was put together with tape when it should have been put together with wire . . . ???

  3. *Stands by with fire extinguisher*
    What ARE you eating before you go to bed, my dear? 😉

    • Apples! That’s all I swear!!! 😉

      Between Jazzy’s fire proof PJ’s and your fire extinguisher I think I should be safe should any of the dreams get even more out of hand.

  4. Obscura

    That is AWESOME – I can’t wait to hear the analysis on this one!! Keep’em coming – I’m all for twisting knickers, bundling undies, etc.

    RE: Urban Dicitonary – I am constantly amazed by new slang terms I learn from students – the most recent was the McGangBang….(I try to stay current, but I am hopelessly 40)

    • While I was having the dream it wasn’t so much funny as shocking, but when I was alert enough to think about it, I thought it was hilarious. I find myself looking up words and phrases on Urban Dictionary a lot. The older I get the more necessary the site is for me to keep up with slang. Gotta say, I haven’t heard that term, McGangBang, but I’m pretty sure I can put it together. 😉

  5. Snickers' Mom

    Maybe this was what that marathon cheating dream was about. That your subconscious was afraid he liked corn dongs. 😛

  6. I can’t stop laughing. And it’s giving me a wonderfully awful idea…

  7. Servetus

    I frequently have dreams that I discover something about him and the blog world is agog … I always read this as me being too involved in my blogging life. I think Traxy had a dream like this once, too. But this is a doozie!

    • I can’t imagine having dreams like this on a regular basis. But then, having dreams I remember at all is such an infrequent thing for me in the first place. Did Traxy write about her dream? I’ll have to go and look for it.

  8. Pingback: Legenda 63: Stuff worth reading « Me + Richard Armitage

  9. Joanna

    Hahahahahaha! Thank you Jasrangoon 🙂
    great background BTW

    • The dream made me laugh as well! I’m glad you like the background. I wasn’t sure about it at first, but it has grown on me.

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