Dear Cyber Bully

Dear Cyber Bully,

What happened to make you so cruel? Did someone hurt you so badly that pain is the only form of communication you understand? Is your life so miserable that you can only find solace in the misery of others? If so, I feel sorry for you. I can’t imagine the kind of pain that would lead you to not only willfully hurt others, but revel in your success.

But here is the truth that you need to understand: Whatever happened in your past, doesn’t justify your actions in the present. Those people who hurt you aren’t responsible for the damage you inflict–you are. One day you will have to answer for the pain you have caused–because the weight of those actions is firmly upon your own shoulders.

You try to mask your vicious nature by saying you are protecting someone else. The one you are trying to protect doesn’t need your protection and even if they did…well I can’t imagine they would care for your methods.

If you disagree with the actions of others, there are better ways to voice your opinion. Remember though, that people might not agree with you–nor are they required too. You are not God and your opinions are not law. You would find the world a happier place if you could see the beauty in individuality–rather than seeking to oppress those who view the world differently than you.

Maybe you, like Lord Voldemort should “try for some remorse.” Unfortunately, you don’t even realize that you are guilty of wronging others. I pray that someday soon you will see the error of your ways–that you will make amends and join with our community in a way that benefits us all.

“Our little community” is full of smart, talented, funny and caring people. Each and every person brings something wonderful to the table. I look forward to the day you realize that the uniqueness of each individual is what makes us stronger.

But until that day, please just stay away. You’ve hurt too many people already. We don’t need anymore wounded in our ranks.

Sincerely,

Jas Rangoon

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162 thoughts on “Dear Cyber Bully

  1. Pingback: What Jas said. « Me + Richard Armitage

  2. I am not aware of what has happened but was very saddened to read Fedoralady’s blog. I have been a victim of bullying myself both in my childhood and more recently on Twitter and I abhor it. There is no excuse. My mother always told me that bullies were simply cowards. I love this community with all my heart and I hope that we will continue to thrive despite the bullies and the nay-sayers

    • Well said Kathryn. I’m sorry that you have had experience with being bullied. I think our community will continue to thrive.The few who bully are outnumbered by those of us who care about each other.

      Part of what I love about this community is that our mutual admiration of Richard Armitage may have brought us together, but we come to know and care about each other beyond our fangirling.

  3. gracie

    Truly, I am floored. I am not seeing it on my favorite blogs so it must be happening in the background. Perhaps through private emails or something? Grown a$$ people tormenting others on the net over a man they probably will never meet is undoubtedly a mental health issue.I am so sorry that this is going on. I wish there was more that we as a collective could do.

    • Gracie, I think a lot of the bullying goes on behind the scenes. I suspect there probably is a mental health issue at work, unfortunately that doesn’t make the bullying hurt less. 😦

      I think the best we can do is show our support to those who have been bullied. A kind word can go a long way.

  4. I had my head in a work cloud lately and did not get the news, but Fedoralady’s post today brought me to tears. I had so hoped for her she could go and have a fantastic time – in representation of us all – at the ComicCon.
    I am still under shock, that she won’t be able to go.
    Life is difficult enough and throws enough problems our way in the normal course. Why do mean minded people have to be splattered around to make life worse?

    • I think we are all disappointed for Fedoralady. 😦

      Yes, life is hard enough without people intentionally making it harder. That’s why we all need to show our support for one another. We can hold each other up when life gets tough.

  5. I have no idea what has happened and can only assume it is in some way in the background, but I was so very to read Servetus’ latest post and Fedora Lady’s blog. It is many years since I was a victim of bullying but one does not forget and bullying in its many guises revolts me, however it is ‘disguised’. Oh, why does this go on? I have loved ‘our little community’, its uniqueness and the wonderful diversity and creativity of its members. I can only hope this is not threatened by the actions of one person. I am so very disappointed for fedoralady and for this community.

    • This is sad and upsetting, I do not know who this person is, and it seems to me that hiding in the background is definitely an indication of cowardice and bullying. It all seems so unnecessary. I hope fedoralady comes back soon.

  6. Teuchter

    I too am disappointed and sad that Fedoralady is unable to go to ComicCon, but I’m very sure that my sadness doesn’t come close to what she must be feeling right now. So for her to find herself under attack by some bully is so shocking that I cannot put into words how upset I am. Not just for Fedoralady but by the thought that such nasty people exist – people who hide behind the “anonymity” of the internet to do their bullying.

    I hate to see “our little community”, which I dearly love being a part of by the way, damaged by things like this. As she said herself on her TAE blog today, I do believe that Richard would indeed be “appalled and disgusted” by this bully’s actions. In an old message to fans when some bad feeling had been aroused he wrote, “. . . let me implore you to put your grievances aside and enjoy the fun.” And later in the same message said, “I just ask you to look after each other, that’s all.” He ended the message with his – by now – well known quote from Mary Baker Eddy, which begins, “To live and let live …..” It’s high time bullies took these words to heart.

  7. I also have no knowledge of the facts. I just hope the best happens for all, the wounded hearts will be healed, and that friendship prevail in our community.
    So be it.

  8. NZfanofRA

    Unbelievable. This is all supposed to be FUN. I was looking forward to sharing in Fedoralady’s enjoyment of Comic Con. Why on earth would anyone do such a thing?

  9. I too need to add my voice to the previous comments and say how deeply shocked I am by this revelation. I have so much respect and admiration for the people I have met, and befriended, through this community that it saddens me deeply to find that anyone here is being bullied.

    I do so hope that Fedoralady has the strength to get through this and that she fully realises that we as a community support and cherish her. I cannot imagine how pained she feels if she is so anguished as to be forced not to go ahead with her plans. The very idea breaks my heart.

    Thank you for highlighting this problem Jas. We cannot tolerate this behaviour from anyone; no matter what their motives or personal problems may be, although if the individual(s?) involved are in need of help I only hope they do so, and quickly, as their actions are hurting themselves as much as they are hurting other people.

    As for me, for now, on a very personal level, I feel as though our little community has been tainted. I hope we stand strong together and recover.

    Sending my love to all.

  10. vec170203

    I just can´t believe that some people still feel good by hurting others. The world and Real Live are already enough violent. I believe there are more mature ways of dealing with differences of opinion.

    Sending all my positive thoughts and love to Fedoralady and any other who is going through these difficult times.

  11. sloan

    I find it amazing that so many people on the internet are bullies. You would think this type of behavior would be left behind in grade school but instead it seems to be increasing. I was never bullied but have seen what it can do to destroy a person. So while I’m not aware of any bullying within this community, I hope your post (and other’s) will “nip it in the bud” (as Barney Fife would so eloquently say.)
    I’m also sorry to hear Fedoralady won’t be attending the Comic-Con. Maybe she will reconsider and still attend.

  12. onemorelurker

    Like CDoart, Angie’s post put tears in my eyes, it pains me to read that she had to put up with that and it looks like it’s become so tough as to take that decision.

    If you don’t agree with someone stay away and don’t read it, why cause so much damage?

    OML *sigh*

  13. Thank you for your very thoughtful comment Jas. I’ve witnessed said person hurting others several times now and I too think there’s a serious mental issue involved… Unfortunately she has hurt and continues to hurt others too. I’m just very very sad too see that Fedoralady now is her latest victim thus being prevented from attending Comic-Con…

  14. linda60

    Is there a minimal option for Angie to still go to San Diego?? Dear Angie, I was so happy and delighted for you, that you have got the chance to visit Comic Con, and first of all, the great highlight: probably meeting RA. I can’t believe what I read today and I’m rather under shock, just as Cdoart put it. I’m floored as all the others here, though I don’t know what actually was said or written. Is there any support we can give you, besides sending our best wishes, and letting you know, how much we love what you do, and how much we appreciate the contributions you add to this little (or not so little) community????

    Thanks Jas for posting this appeal and giving us the chance to express out deepest regrets, and our disappointment about this incidents, but above all our hope that we stick together and back each other up as far as it is in our „virtual“ ability.

  15. simplegirl

    Due to work overload and a sick laptop I’m out of the loop a bit, so I have no idea what’s really going on–but I’ve repeatedly seen how the internet can turn so-called adults into petty little children or downright vicious twits. I was looking forward to first-hand reports from CC; what a shame for Fedoralady and the rest of us. 😦

  16. Massive thanks for speaking out against the bullying that clearly goes on in our community. If people have differences, they should be sorted in private between the parties involved and should not involve contacting other people with the express purpose of spreading damage. Yes, I definitely believe this individual has serious mental health issues and is in denial and not seeking help. While there are two sides to every story, there are also differences in belief systems and one person should not dictate what is “right” in the community. There is no one sole arbiter. To me, much of the beauty of the world involves diversity of thought.

    The outcome of this bullying incident impacts us all.

  17. Thank you, everyone, for your kind words of concern and support. I know that the majority of RA fans are good, decent, caring, generous people.

    I should explain it was not my :”choice” to not attend CC. Sadly, this individual in question took steps behind the scenes that caused me to lose my reporting position and thus my pass to Comic-Con.

    Another blogger truly did her best to try to secure me another pass but it was simply too late. All this arose in the last few days.

    I had my ticket, my hotel was reserved and I was fully prepared to go and do my very best for CBR and as a representative of the RA community.I am, after all, an experienced and award-winning reporter.

    Unfortunately, I was robbed of that opportunity. This is not the first time this person has attacked me and I am far from only one who has suffered from her actions. I’ve done my best to stay out of her line of fire.

    But this time she really went too far. She didn’t just injure me; she caused distress for my family members, my husband and my friends in the RA community through her actions. And that, ladies, is what makes me the angriest: that in her desire to–I don’t know, teach me a lesson? “Protect” Richard Armitage from me??– she hurt and disappointed the people I love.

    • Bollyknickers

      Oh fedora lady – I am so sorry this has happened. I have nothing useful to add to the thoughtful and empathic comments above, other than that I am appalled. I hope this doesn’t keep you away for long as you will be truly missed.

    • CC

      Thank you for explaining the situation. Now that truly is f****ed up, pardon my words.

      Disagreeing with someone is one thing, but to take these extraordinary steps in the name of, hmm yes, in the name of what exactly?, is just beyond crazy. To consciously go after you in such a manner, I have no words.

      And such behavior only damages fandom instead of “protecting” it, or whatever the reason it may have been. Fandom is not a monolith, it is not like the Borg no matter how much some would wish it so.

    • Teuchter

      I too am in shock! I thought perhaps health problems were the main reason for not being able to go although this other issue had been mentioned. But this goes beyond anything I EVER imagined. I cannot believe anyone could be so vindictive. I am so very sorry for the hurt you and yours are experiencing and want you to know we are here for you as I’m sure you are aware. Take care of yourself, dear Fedoralady.

    • It is appalling the lengths some people will go with their petty envies and jealousies. I am so sorry that you were put through such a nightmare. Also, I am sorry that you cannot go to CC. I know how much it meant to you as it would have meant for any of us who love Richard. That there are actually people in our community that are like this is distressing to me. We have all shared such wonderful thoughts and feeling with each other about RA as well as other areas of our lives that it pains me to know there are people like this bully out there and part of RA fandom.
      Hang in there Fedora Lady! You are awesome and one heck of a fighter. We are all pulling for you and love to read your words of wit and inspiration. Come back to us soon.
      Hugs and XXX”s

    • I am so floored and dismayed that this has happened to you FedoraLady! Whomever this person is that robbed–yes robbed–you of your chance to fulfill your wishes and dreams to attend Comic-Con needs to have the brakes put on them. I and everyone were so looking forward to your first person impressions of Comic-Con and RA. But most importantly, I was delighted for you that you were attending.
      I wish that there were a way for you to back channel this bully’s back channelling of you and you could beat them at their own game and still be able to attend. I’m praying for you.
      No Cheers! Grati ;-<

      • Thanks, Grati. As my plane takes off in about 14 hours and I had to cancel my room reservations earlier to avoid a penalty, it really would take a minor miracle for me to be a part of it now. But I appreciate your good wishes and kind thoughts.

    • wydville

      Dear fedoralady,
      I, like virtually everyone else, was counting down the days to your meeting with RA: I was looking forward to meeting him vicariously; through you we were all going to get to know him just that tiny little bit better. I join with everybody else in trying to express how badly I feel for you.

      We all subscribe to sites such as yours initially through our admiration of RA. However, for me and, I suspect for many, many others – literally all over the world – they become a necessary part of our daily existence: fora where those with an initial common interest (RA) can also discuss many other issues, laugh together and support each other when the need arises.
      So, please, please don’t go away for too long. We NEED you! Our lives will all be that bit diminished by your absence.

  18. mersguy

    I’m in shock! What on earth has been going on, so sorry to hear that you have been distressed by the person and please go to Comic Con you deserve the distRAction! Otherwise the bully has won.

    Richard would be appalled as am I.
    Take care, love and hugs xx

  19. mersguy

    Last word on the subject by me, does this person need to be “outed”? Seems from reading others comments this is not the first time.

    • Snicker's Mom

      I’m with you. I’m not saying the person should be named so we could bully them in return, but I’m thinking I’d like to know so I can avoid this person and basically ignore anything I see by them.

  20. Snicker's Mom

    I honestly believe one reaps what one sows, so I’m guessing this person’s life will continue to be miserable and probably even worse than what it is now.

  21. rbb

    I’m sorry, but there are 2 things I do not understand.
    1 Is there not a way for a blogger to block a user from commenting or even accessing ? On many sites you can report an offender, but blocking is good enough in most cases.
    2 What is the problem with outing her ? Are you expecting to reeducate her ??? Forget it. Such people thrive on impunity.
    She should be outed, blocked, and be done with.

    • servetus

      You can’t block only one person from seeing your blog unless you block everyone — which means you limit your readership and make it hard for new readers to find you. This is not someone who leaves comments on blogs (or not usually).

      I think we agree that she’s not educable. But outing her involves (a) descending ethically to the level that she’s descended to in harming others, which I personally find distasteful, and (b) personal risk to the people who out her if their identities are known.

      • Exactly. As far as I knew, she wasn’t even reading my blog. But it’s possible she saw this on twitter or some other place, and latched onto it because she had already marked fedoralady as “dangerous.” And I don’t want to stoop to her level, I really don’t. And I don’t want to see anyone endangered by outing her.

  22. servetus

    I’ve been thinking about a solution that perhaps a group of bloggers could subscribe to. There is a problem with outing the person. But maybe we can find a solution together.

  23. Mezz

    Thank you Jas, for this post. I never cease to be amazed at the lengths some people will go to, to bully, harass, and hurt others, although I shouldn’t be I guess, because unfortunately it’s all too prevalent. Once upon a time, bullies usually at least had a face, but the anonymity today offered by social media and the internet gives these cowards opportunities to attack without fear of being brought to account.
    The maliciousness of this person’s actions towards fedoralady is so beyond the pale that words fail me. Richard’s own wish that we in his community treat each other kindly and respectfully obviously means nothing to her at all.

  24. servetus

    This comment is not to disagree with those who have quoted Richard Armitage with regard to fan behavior because he obviously said those things, but I have a slightly different perspective.

    The person in question has also clearly read the things that Armitage has written to his fans, and she is quite obviously motivated by the belief that she is protecting Mr. Armitage from people who are either a nuisance or dangerous to him. In fact, her behavior is escalating in this regard, so she clearly feels that her fellow fans are even more of a nuisance or threat to Armitage than she has in the past. In light of that, it’s pointless to quote Armitage at her, because she truly believes that she is on his side, and that if he knew about what she is doing, he would be appreciative or at least not disapprove.

    I tend to believe that fans should do their best to keep Armitage out of fan squabbles. It is not his job to mediate this kind of thing or be drawn into it. Management should stay away from fans, is what I have always read in this regard. In particular, he’s the artist and we want him to be happy, free, enabled to do his best work at all times, and supported by us insofar as that’s possible. We should take the approach that all (cyber-)bullying (not just that mistakenly conducted in his name) is wrong, period. What’s happened here is cruel and unethical by any standards — not just in light of what we can surmise about Armitage’s feelings.

    • Laurie C

      Well said.

    • I think in her very bizarre and misguided way she really does think she is protecting Richard Armitage–the Richard Armitage she has created in her mind, anyway. What threat she sees me being to him, I haven’t the foggiest. I respect and admire the man tremendously and would never, ever act in a way that I believed would bring him harm. I truly want him to be happy and fulfilled doing what he loves to do and does so very well.

      I am hardly the first victim of this person’s behavior, and, sadly, I fear I shall not be the last. It just seems to me to be escalating in terms of aggressiveness and I do worry about what she’ll do next.

    • sloan

      I would imagine her behavior is escalating because RA’s prominence is escalating. Wonder if it will escalate even more as the premiere gets closer and all the PR that goes along with it. It’s a crying shame this is happening.

      • I sincerely hope not, but I certainly never imagined in my wildest dreams she’d pull this nasty little stunt .Normally, I am thrilled to know someone has discovered RA’s wonderful talent and embrace them coming into the fold, but I honestly rue the day she ever found this fandom. With fans like that . . . *sigh*

    • Well said, Servetus!

    • Well said, Servetus. Bulling in any shape or form is unacceptable. Whether this person thinks she’s doing it with RA’s wellbeing in mind or not is really irrelevant. What matters is that she has hurt someone both emotionally and in this particular case tangibly.

      • Leigh

        I agree that bullying is unacceptable, regardless of the motivation. There should be a solution to this for blogs and internet communications. This particular person has caused both tangible and intangible damages in an unprovoked attack, and this kind of behaviour needs to be stopped.

  25. simplegirl

    I find it laughable that RA needs “protection” from Fedoralady. This person understands what Comicon is like, right? There will be people dressed as superheroes. There will people dressed as Thorin. Hell, there will be a few people who think they ARE Thorin. It’s all about embracing the wacky while also appreciating the art.

    Again, what a ridiculous shame.

    • I believe she is quite familiar with Comic-Con so she should certainly know about the wackier aspects of it. Heck, maybe she thought I’d think I was Heinz Kruger and would try to blow up The Hobbit panel . . . it’s about as plausible as anything I can come up with. 😉 I consider myself to be a pretty non-threatening individual. And if she actually KNEW me, she would see that, too–at least, I hope she would.

  26. Laurie C

    I am truly sickened. When I read Angie’s blog over at The Armitage Effect, I was in complete shock! Then, when I read Angie’s explanation I couldn’t believe it! Who in the world would do something so mean and spiteful! I know that 99% of our little community has been looking forward to her reports from CC. I was tickled pink that we would get the inside scoop! I am so sorry. I will really miss my daily fix of The Armitage Effect! I really hope that she will return some day with her particular brand of Richarding.

  27. gracie

    I do not support bullying of any kind so obviously outing this person may come across as bullying the bully. But surely this cannot continue. Unfortunately I am not informed enough to volunteer any possible measures. But this is making me want to look into it more. I promise to look in my circle of colleagues and friends, especially in the legal field to see what if anything they propose. Maybe some of you already know but I am in the dark about this and I am so angry right now hat this sort of violence exists to begin with. To know that someone out there has broken with reality and speaking for someone who has not asked her to speak for him, with the sole purpose of destroying a community who is simply having basic innocent fun is just scary.

    Thank you Fedoralady for letting us know what happenened. It was a little disconerning to not be informed of what was happening because so many of us are great fans of your blog and supporters of you. I hope you take the time you need and come back stronger than ever.

    • servetus

      I would love to know what the legal ramifications of this action might be for the person in question. She relies on the fact that her victims have little recourse — even if they defend themselves, they risk looking bad — but in this case something tangible has been forfeited.

      • I was wondering about that too. If she has made threats, it should be able to report her to the police. Email headers and the likes can be traced. If nothing else, the mere threat of reporting her to the police might make her back the hell off – pardon my French.

    • Thank you, Gracie. I think the “broken with reality” part is what most concerns me. I do find it in me to feel sorry for her; at the same time, it’s unacceptable behavior.

    • Mezz

      Aside from everything else, I believe this was to be a paid job for Angie, albeit for only a few days, so through their actions this person has sought to deny her employment, which she had earned by going through the process of application and selection.

  28. I would just like to say thank you to everyone who has shown their support for Fedora Lady. I see us as a community that genuinely cares about each other, which is why a situation like this makes us so angry and leads us to defend our own.

    On the topic of “outing” bullies: we don’t want to stoop to their level. I for one, don’t think outing this person would in any way change their behavior. And, they would more than likely view it as an attack and try and harm the “outer.”

    The best thing we can do is continue to voice our disapproval of such behavior and continue to be a community that looks out for each other.

    • servetus

      I love the statement about looking out for each other.

    • Agreed, Jas, and thanks. I think what we have to do is take a stand for what is right, not tolerate bullying behavior at our blogs and sites and continue to try to treat each other the way we’d like to be treated. I do thinking “outing” would only do more harm than good. This is why I did not choose to do so at my own blog.

      • Northern gal

        Fedora Lady–I’ve so enjoyed your posts as well as those of others in this community (long time lurker here!) It sickens me to hear what you are going through. Servetus is right to raise a question about legal ramifications. In addition to harassment, and infliction of emotional distress, this might be a case where you had contractual obligations to others –hotel, plane, etc. — that have been intentionally interfered with to your detriment, which is a recognized civil claim in most jurisdictions. Also, by publicly declaring you as a “threat” to someone, there might be defamation issues as well. While it unpleasant to contemplate taking or threatening to take legal action, sometimes that is the only recourse to protect yourself. You might be able to tell from this post what my chosen occupation is, and if you can figure out how to directly communicate with me, I’d be glad to talk things through to see if it is worth exploring with an attorney in your area.

      • AJ Daisy

        Oh Angie this has made me so sad. I love TAE it’s brilliant how shocking that someone can do this to another humanbeing. We all know that you were so looking foward to going to CC, and we were all looking foward to your report back. Take care Angie don’t stay away too long. I’m sure Guy will give you lots of hugs. Love to you and yours from England.

    • That has rocked me to the core, I can only imagine how Angie feels.
      United we stand ladies!!

  29. @Rob

    Ms Angie … This so super sucks on so many levels. Seriously. It sucks. Is there something I can do to help you?

  30. Beachbaby

    I am utterly appalled at what has happened. Fedoralady, a couple of things; presumably you had a contract for your work, and the other party would have had to give a reason for breaking the contract? Also, your comments imply that the bully actually gloated to you that they had influenced the decision to terminate your employment. If so, that is unbelievably cruel and I can perfectly understand why you would wish to close down your blog after experiencing something so vile. Hopefully you will able to return in due course.
    I agree with the comments that outing the bully would do more harm than good but I can so understand the sentiment for wanting to do just that!

    I add my love & hugs in support for your Fedoralady.

  31. Jennie

    I am devastated to read that someone who has given me so much enjoyment through her friendliness and creativity has been treated in such a terrible fashion (although I don’t know the details.) Much as I would like do something concrete to help, I can only send positive vibes and empathetic cyber-hugs. {{}}

    I’ve been bullied twice within this fandom, both times by people that I had previously considered “friends” and know just how much this hurts. Not only does it affect the enjoyment of RA-time, it can spill over to knock one’s confidence in RL. I cannot tell you how many times I have wished I’d never heard of RA….but I still go on loving him!

    All that it takes is for us to remember to treat each other nicely, Is that so hard? After all, it’s only what RA asked us to do! “I just ask you to look after each other, thats all. “

    • servetus

      cyberhugs to you, Jennie.

    • Jennie, I’m sorry to hear that you have been bullied by people in this community. I truly don’t understand what motivates such actions. Many cyber-hugs to you.

    • Laurie C

      Jennie, I feel the same way. I have had sooo much enjoyment through Angie with both her videos and her blog. I have also been bullied twice while blogging in “Armitage Blog Land”. I have had my feeling hurt and can only imagine how hurt Angie is right now. I want her to realize just how many of us support her and are angry on her behalf. I feel like these posts are group hugs through cyber land to Fedoralady!!

  32. servetus

    Something that’s really unfortunate about this incident is that it’s almost as if it’s been timed to make us look especially bad. On the whole, the press tends to think “crazy fangurlz,” but it’s really unfortunate that we need as a community to be dealing with this at the point at which we are going to start to be more regularly exposed to the glances of outsiders.

    So I guess it’s a moment when we need to be more than unusually kind to each other.

    • I hadn’t thought of this, but it is a good point. If only the type of kindness you mention could be the norm. Wouldn’t it be great if the press could see us as a group of fangirls who rally around each other when life gets rough? It sure would beat a story about factions and bullying within a fandom.

      • servetus

        The thing is: although I’ve also been bullied by this particular person, I regularly experience the fandom as just what you say — people who rally around me at bad points (and there have been a lot of them lately). I really don’t know what I would have done this morning without the fandom — I wrote a post in despair and overnight more than a dozen people weighed in to encourage me onward.

        Maybe what we should do is start a kindness initiative. Armitage Fans Kindness Initiative?

        • This is how I see the fandom as well.My heart swelled every time I heard about people donating for Fedoralady’s trip. And it has brought tears to my eyes to see all of the kind and uplifting words that people have written to you during this time of trial you are going through. I think back to some of the harder times in my life and think about how wonderful it would have been to have that extra support.

          Overall, this is a great community to be a part of. I hope that one or two bad eggs won’t turn people away from the special environment we have with this group of fans.

          Oh, and I love the idea of an Armitage Fan Kindness Initiative!

        • Anonymous

          That’s a great idea about starting an initiative for kindness and possibly other things too. We could conincide initiatives with what’s coming down the pike for The Hobbit. There are lots of creative minds in this community. The FanstRAvaganza you all organized back in March is just one example of what can be done. Just saying.

        • Sloan

          I think starting an initiative for kindness is a great idea. You could even have other initiatives to coincide with what’s coming down the pike with the Hobbit. There’s all kinds of creativity/talent in this community and the event ya’ll organized back in March is just one expample of what could be accomplished. I think it would also help to move on from what’s happening now with the cyber bullying and maybe even counteract it. Something good coming from something bad.

      • Excellent idea! I have only positive things to say about the forums etc that needs to be expressed. My gosh I have so many new friends now thanks to Richard.

  33. Nietzsche

    I have a fair idea who she is. Let’s just say she makes me want to p*ke. I am so sorry for you, dear Fedoralady. *hugs*

  34. I don’t get around to reading blogs very often. I am so sorry to read that this is going on in our ‘little community’. I’m so sorry you are not going to be able to go. What a disappointment for you. We need someone there for all of us that can’t go.

  35. I am so truly sorry for you Fedoralady and I can’t believe someone’s gone so far 😦
    You would have been a great representative for the RA-community!!!!!

  36. Anonymous

    During my time in this fandom, I’ve seen this sad person attack time after time…usually a different victim. And then she moves on. Unfortunately, this time it seems the attack was particularly savage in its intent and that really bothers me… The cold-hearted meanness takes my breath. I have total faith that you,Angie can and will overcome this!

  37. Anonymous

    During my time in this fandom, I’ve seen this sad person attack time after time…usually a different victim. And then she moves on. Unfortunately, this time it seems the attack was particularly savage in its intent and that really bothers me… The cold-hearted meanness takes my breath. I have total faith that you,Angie can and will overcome this! I might add that from what you’ve said, whoever you were to work for has handled this very unprofessionally. Really appalling IMHO.

  38. lucylou

    Fedoralady sending you lots of cyberhugs and cyberlove to help you deal with an awful situation that is so unbelievable that it has happened. United as a positive community maybe we can overcome such a negative individual.

  39. asilomar11

    Beautifully expressed, Jas. Much love and hugs to you, Angie.

  40. Joanna

    Oh..Angie!:( ..here…let me hug you :* Please take care of yourself dear friend.:*
    So this whole dirty work goes unpunished?:(

  41. I am godsmacked and heartbroken for Angie! I’m shivering with anger!
    What the hell??? What happened? How is this possible?
    Who would go to such lengths to shatter another persons dream? This is just beyond belief!
    We’ll have time to put our heads together to deal with this horrible individual (believe me, I’m calling her much worse in my head!).
    First things first! I know it’s very late, but is there nothing that can be done about Comic-Con? Do we have any resources to still make this happen?
    Angie, I can’t imagine the pain you’re going through! I’m so very sorry, it really couldn’t have happened to a nicer person. I hope that you will draw some (however little) comfort from the fact that you have the support of our little community.
    It’s a very sad day for RA fans and good people, who try to make their dreams come true!

  42. Pingback: To the RA Community… « I Want to be a Pin-Up

  43. Smithylass

    I am so shocked to read what has been going on. I only just clicked on a link from IWantToBeAPinUp’s twitter post and read about it. Angie, this is just awful and it’s so hard to believe that someone would be so dreadful as to stop your chance of reporting on Comic Con to share it with everyone and perhaps meeting RA. Sending you hugs. Smithylass.

  44. aurum

    Angie, I was so happy for you and for all of us, because I knew that you would make us all proud.. This is awful. But this is not just disgusting behavior. There is something really creepy about this, because this attack was not against fedoralady the fan, but against Angie, real person, reporter. Something must be done, because this is gone to far.

  45. Cyber bullying is very real, as I experienced it first-hand about a year ago.

    I used to have another Twitter account. I’m a Christian and debated atheists. There was a very … how should I put this … militant … group that decided to go after me. They set up false twitter accounts pretending to be me and then would engage people, acting as if they were me. Pretty soon, no one knew what was false or real.

    After that, they set up a blog that was filled with falsehoods and out and out slander. I never caught their identities, or I would have found a way to sue them. That blog caused me to lose at least one potential client in my freelance business. I have no idea the reach that it had, but I still shudder to think about it. And yes, it’s still up.

    I do not blame all atheists for this. It was a group of very mean-spirited people who were behind it.

    I took an eight-month break from Twitter because of all it …. and the reason I’m on it right now with my new user name (lovemrthornton) and tweeting about a lot of silly stuff (i.e. Richard Armitage and in general, what I eat for breakfast) … is because I just want to be left alone.

    All this is to say, I get this situation in a very real way.

    You ladies are a lovely community — so kind and welcoming. When I found you after discovering North & South in February for the first time, it was like a drink of cold water after a desert trudge.

    I’m happy to see everyone form ranks around Fedoralady and I wish her well.

    Plus, I’d like to add that her video with the lyrics, “I believe in fairy tales and serendipitous encounters” is so delightful and has cheered me up on some gloomy days.

    Bit hug to you!

    As far as outing this person …. you guys could probably do it, but it will only justify her actions in her mind. Having dealt with people like her for many months, I know that they firmly believe that they’re doing right, and they also feel morally superior to the rest of us.

    It’s evil, plain and simple.

    It’s really evil.

    The best thing to do is let her wallow in her meanness and be kind to each other, just as you are already doing. In that way, you’ll find that people like me will discover you, and you unwittingly are doing a service to those of us who have been battered in this wild frontier we know as the Internet.

    Thanks for listening.

    • My heart goes out to Angie and her family. She hasn’t done anything to deserve this!!!

      However I completely agree with you. Many of those who’ve been around in “RA world” for a bit know at least the alias of the perpetrator and have seen her ‘in action’. I don’t think those of us who can, should out that person – first of all as it’s Angie’s wish not to do that but also because it would ldefinitely lead to nothing. I have had to deal with staff who are mentally ill. They are delusional and cannot be treated like normal people. The best thing to do – unfortunately – is to completely ignore that person. She’ll even consider all our commentaries on here – negative as they are – as a recognition of her power… I know that may sound weird but I’m afraid that’s how it is.

      I really, really hope Angie will be back with us soon. Let’s send her hugs and good wishes. She knows we’re all behind her but let’s try to stop discussing the bully.

  46. I have read Angie’s post yesterday and I’m very sad and sorry for her.

    I know RA since 2009, but I am recent on this fandom. I love it, I can talk about Richard with other ladies all around the world (and it helps me improving my English ).

    I don’t understand why some people are so bad with some of us…

    I give all my support to Angie. I hope that she will soon be back, we will miss her…

    2 years ago, a girl who pretend to be my friend did such a thing to me, telling bad things about me to another of my friend. The consequence is that I lost both friendship.

    Sometimes, I don’t understand why some people are so bad without any reason…

    I hope that this cyber bully will get what she deserves…

    A big hug to all ladies of the fandom. 🙂

  47. millyme

    This is my first time on Jas’s blog which I found today through Servetus’s. Coming on here and reading everyone’s heartfelt support of Angie reminds me of why I am still a member of this community after 2 1/2 years of finding Richard Armitage, the openness, intelligence, wittiness, fun and fancraziness, fandwarfing and dwarf desire, but most of all the warmth and understanding and rallying around when others need it. This is what we have to hold on to, especially as the community will inevitably expand when the Bearded Beauty hits our screens in the not-too-distant future. Angie has brought so much to Richard’s fandom through her comments, fanfic and blog. This must be why she has been targeted by someone who can’t even sustain vitual friendships.

    Angie, you are loved and admired! Hold your head up high and return to us when you feel ready.

  48. fitzg

    Have just been catching up, having had less time to cover the blogs for a few months. I do agree that outing is not a positive way to go. Neither is involving Mr. Armitage in any way. The attack and move on bully technique is sufficiently familiar that many of us have a good idea (while we can’t confirm) of at least the “nom de plume” of the perp.

    From a legal point of view, how does this person have the power to influence the ComiCon authorities? The person has crossed a line somehow, in cyber-bullying. The person must be sufficiently known to the ComiCon people to cause such destruction? I don’t know whether there is a solution to the immediate situation, but it does seem that line (legal? if it could be proven) has been crossed.

    Fedoralady, I’m heartsick for you. You are the last person to have such malice directed to you. With such sweeping repercussions on you and family. Thank goodness you have such a supportive family. Your other family out here is with you. Courage, notre seour.

    • Agreed, and I would strongly caution all of you to NOT contact Richard Armitage about this. Although I’m new to this, I’ve read that there was some disagreement between fans in the past and that they tried to involve him, hence his duck-and-run reaction.

      He’s a good guy, and this shouldn’t even cross his path.

      The person who is responsible knows who she is, and personally, the worst punishment of all is having Fedoralady continue to live with her head high, above the fray, and not give her the satisfaction that she destroyed anything.

      In truth, the best line of defense against this type of thing is to say nothing and move forward. The person will continue to wallow in their own self-hatred (because what if anything triggers something like this other than self-hate and low self-esteem?) … and you just keep going.

      This is unsolicited advice, but when this individual pleads with any of you to “look back at me” (to quote a very famous guy in a black top hat) …. don’t look back. Don’t give her the satisfaction.

      Hope this helps. I’m really sorry it happened. It sucks. There’s no other way to put it.

      • Let me make it clear, I do NOT want anybody contacting Richard or his people about this. I do NOT want anyone contacting CBR about this. The damage has been done and it can’t be undone. She’s sick and mean and I simply hope she gets what she richly deserves very, very soon. She’s a pitiful excuse for a human being and I thank God I am not like her. Having mental health issues does not entitle you to be a witch or to tamper with someone else’s work and life.

    • CC

      In this case it’s about “Richard Armitage” but you could replace that name with any other, it isn’t about him. I have the feeling the same kind of reaction would take place if it concerned someone or something else she feels so strongly about.

      In other words, it’s about the perpetrator and what she believes. In this case, “Richard Armitage” is her poor excuse for her deplorable behavior.

  49. While test-running my iPAD last night, I not only double posted, but also came through as “anonymous”. I’ve never done anything anonymous and won’t start now…unless, I’m not as smart as the iPAD and I think I proved that…but then, now that I’m at a real keyboard, don’t expect any miracles! LOL!!! Remember, I’m old and not particularly tech savvy but I’m learning! Which is what we’re all doing, in one way or another…learning. And what I’ve learned from a past fandom, is to ignore a troll/bully. They hate that. Being acknowledged is what they want. Although it is harder to ignore a bully when potential jobs are in the balance. That’s the part that floors me. The doggedness that it takes to search out information on someone and then try to ruin them! Either the bully has way too much time on her hands or is just mean…maybe both?

    I have heard of 3rd party intervention re: legal action or the threat of it. The threat of legal action might be the only thing that will stop this bully. It certainly stopped one of our cowboys who we fired. Why? Because he had to be dragged out bed to come to work and stole gas, saddles, money and precious TIME. When hubs told him he was pressing charges for the thefts, he kicked into action and coughed up a saddle. This kid had never been confronted and made responsible for his actions.

    I’ve not been bullied on the net. Yet. When I started my blog, the chances of having to deal with something like this became very apparent. Nothing yet, but then my blog is fairly “simple” and small.

    I too believe that the timing is of significance. It will be interesting to see how this all plays out. In the meantime, we can continue to circle the wagons and to keep being supportive and encouraging. And this is what the bully doesn’t comprehend…our friendships and the fun that we have. She doesn’t get that this isn’t about RA. He’s the catalyst but human relationships are the important part!

    Sorry about the double post and anonymity. But I won’t say it won’t happen again. Lord only knows what I’ll do next…

  50. I am horrified for you fedoralady. Your disppointment must be bone-deep. To have had this chance snathced away so maliciously is beyond the pale. I also have a good idea who we are talking about. I suggest that the best thing to do is not debate with her on anything. Do not reply to her posts, do not rise to her bait. She is obviously a pathetic creep. Let’s hope what goes around comes around for her.

    This is a lovely fandom, driven by a sweet man. There are so many good women involved in Armitageworld – don’t let her ruin it. Now if we could just organise a giant community hug ….. mmmmmmmmmmmmmnnnnng!

  51. I’d like to express my disappointment as well that Angie won’t be attending Comic Con as planned. Can’t help but wonder if the behind the scenes manipulator was hoping to be the person chosen to replace her for the event. That could explain her motivation.

    I do understand why you feel discouraged right now about blogging, Angie, but there is another talent where your input to the RA community has also been invaluable — that is your skill with fanvids. Sincerely hope you won’t allow the bully to keep you from creatively expressing your admiration of RA in that way. If so, it would simply be playing into the negative person’s hands.

  52. cindy

    Having just read all the comments, I am again struck by the incredible concern and support expressed by ladies from all over the world. Ang, your attitude regarding this situation is admirable. You are demonstrating class and integrity. Should the actions of our little community become more noticed in the near future, as others have previously stated, I would hope that it is your actions which are used to define us. You are truly a credit to all of us.

    While ignoring the bully seems to be the most sensible path, I can’t help but be angry that she will get away with her crime (and in my mind it is a crime). Again, as stated by others, she has not harmed Fedoralady, a blogger, she has harmed Angie, an actual person who has suffered tangible consequences by being denied employment and possibly incurring financial losses as well. My sense of fair play screams that this person should be held accountable somehow. She has definitely crossed a line.

  53. 99 previous comments. That would usually put me off, as does the fact that I am only a silent reader here and on Fedoralady’s blog. But lurking is not synonymous with disinterested, and if I can swell numbers with my show of support then I will gladly do so!!! Bullying can not ever be tolerated! And the worst part of it is that it wreaks at least medium-term damage on the victim. I can only hope that Fedoralady, whose writing I deeply admire and which has inspired me to look beyond my own horizon in several ways, will eventually recover to return to delighting us with what she does!
    I don’t really know any of you regulars but you strike me as an extraordinary bunch of women, warm, giving, benign, inclusive, witty, supportive… All the best that womanhood can give. Don’t let one nasty individual ruin it!
    Best wishes to Fedoralady and grateful thanks to Jas for providing the platform for virtual support!

    • I don’t know if any of what I’m about to say will help or not …. but take this into account:

      In my situation with the bullies who went after me in cyber space, their identities were never found out. If so, I definitely had a legal case for libel … in the United States. I still don’t even know if they were in the same country.

      The Internet allows much of this cloak-and-dagger-middle-school-mentality because it is international in scope. Therefore, many people run rampant once they get it in their minds to target a certain individual or institution.

      To fight it = money.

      To dwell on it = your lost peace of mind.

      To seek revenge = your valuable time and effort, which could be used to better the world.

      These mentally ill people (and yes, I do believe they are mentally ill) are so focused on this type of behavior because they are just sick. Nothing that a community can do can stop them. In fact, it will usually only serve to fan their flame.

      I know that sounds hopeless, but here is the good news … Each bullied person can move forward and do wonderful things. And each community that supports that person will continue to thrive and survive because, when all is said and done, the goodness of others prevails. I really believe that.

      You know, if I hadn’t been bullied off of Twitter a year ago, I would never have discovered all of you, all of your sweetness and kindness and goodness. So you guys just keep doing what you’re doing, supporting each other like this … and the hags who are too ugly in spirit to see their deeds in clear light will continue to thrash and moan.

      Leave them to it.

      I hope this painful experience for Angie will result in ultimate good. I honestly believe it will. Sorry if I got too Pollyanna on you — but really and truly … keep the faith and let the dross fall away from the gold.

  54. Ariane B.

    Another lurker here! I have really enjoyed the various erudite, eloquent and fun blogs and discussions in this lovely community as I am being drawn into fangirling over the lovely and talented Mr. Armitage. And although I usualy prefer to stay in the background, I just felt compelled to weigh in.

    First of all I need to express my heartfelt commiseration with Fedoralady, and I am so sorry for her. I also personally dissappointed that she will not be able to be our eyes and ears, as well as our “ambassador” of sorts, at ComicCon.

    Secondly, I agree that instead of “outing” the perpetrator in question, we should show kindness and close ranks with the people in this community who are in this for genuine and goodnatured fun; but I also agree with Northern Gal that there is possible cause for litigation here, and Fedoralady should consider pursuing this (and am I far off in saying that if she needs assistance from others in the community who can provide circumstantial evidence and the like, she can expect to get it?).
    Bullies need someone standing up to them! Going through the cyber-equivalent of vigilante justice, so to speak (creating a cyber-“posse” and -forgive the crude analogy- public “lynching” by outing her) is definitely not the high road; but ensuring that she does not inflict this type of harm on others by her malicious actions through showing her that there are legal repercussions to what she did (financial harm, defamation, etc.) is, in my view, absolutely appropriate. Obviously this is Fedoralady’s decision and at her discretion (no reason for her to share with us all about suing this cyberbully); but I think it would do a service to the victims past, present and future (who is to say this person’s behavior will not escalate, either? She’s gotten away with it so far.) to pursue this. Being mean online is one thing, but taking away someone’s opportunity for employment, slander, and causing financial damages (never mind shattering a personal dream) is quite another. Not to mention that I feel we are all victims here, to the extent that we have all been robbed of Fedoralady’s detailed reporting, which to me also was the next best thing to attending myself.
    In the mean time, I am all in favor of kindness and showing each other true friendship and support, as well as grace and dignity, in public response to the acts of this despicable bully. With regards to what Servetus remarked about the public face of Armitage fangirling, we should demonstrate that we stick together; but we can stand up for ourselves too!
    (Lastly, it goes without saying that I completely agree this has nothing whatsoever to do with Mr. Armitage himself, and it is none of his business nor something he should be bothered with.)
    My 2 cents…

    • Emails can be traced to IP addresses and forum moderators will have access to IP logs, and you can easily track which ISP (Internet Service Provider) the IP belongs to, and if they’re provided with timestamps that this person has posted, they’ll be able to trace the person who did it – well, or at least their address, but from there it should be fairly simple to pinpoint the exact person. (As in, if something was tracked to our house, the options would be me or the hubby, unless we had a friend use our wifi credentials at the time.) There are ways to report someone to the police even if you don’t know their real names.

      Email address tracking can be provided by looking into the looong, convoluted headers (normally hidden because they’re irrelevant in day-to-day communication) and if it’s on a forum, the admin can provide the IP logs of that user and timestamps. This can then be handed over to the police, along with the actual messages. If they’ll do anything about it is another matter, but you won’t know until they try. If the CBM (?) are contacted by law enforcement regarding defamation and that sort of thing, they’re probably going to at least realise who the actual “crazed fangurl” is – and it’s not the one they’ve said can’t go … At least then some justice would be served, even if it’s too late to put things right with tickets and so on.

      Angie/Fedoralady, you have my love and full support. Let me know if you need a hand with any cyber-sleuthing. 🙂

  55. I am so sorry this happened to you, Angie. If I say anymore I’m gonna be swearing.

    • Hahahaha, Jazz!! I agree 1000%. I’m glad everyone has taken the time to speak up to support Angie and to also voice apprecation for this community of loving, supportive and creative individuals.

  56. fitzg

    For the group itself – the SINCERE RA supporters, led by Angie’s example, we will move forward with customary concern and care for each other and the group. For Angie, the personal, professional and financial hurt is harder. (One feels like Sir Harry, Spooks S7: “We will have our revenge”) However, short of having enough for litigation, I agree that the best course is that, when this person, or one similar shows up on a blog, and the signals are by now recognisable, best to completely disengage, and refuse to respond.

  57. servetus

    I think it’s important that the person in question know — I am sure she is aware of this discussion — that while the people she’s harassed so far haven’t taken legal action, that may not always be the case. A cost / benefit analysis may suggest that litigation isn’t worth it, but many people in the U.S. have insurance for exactly situations like this. She benefits from the fact that we as individuals say, oh, it’s not worth it — and then she goes on to the next victim, assuming she’ll be able to count on the same conditions and thus survive her adventures with impunity.

    By now she’s persona non grata in a lot of places. But she doesn’t conduct her mischief in places where we can see it, and that’s exactly the problem.

    So while I am all for supporting each other as much as possible, I also think that protecting each other involves a healthy awareness of just what’s going on here.

    • You know what, Servetus, that really makes a LOT of sense.

      In fact, I didn’t even know there were insurance policies for these things until you mentioned it. I for one am going to look into it now.

      It seems this person has been wreaking havoc for a while?

      In this instance, I wonder if it is worth outing her, not for lynch mob reasons but so that the rest of us can stay absolutely clear of her.

      I’m assuming it’s a “her,” by the way. Women find the most malicious ways to hurt each other, imho.

      • servetus

        There are legal insurance policies designed to assist in situation where you are the object of frivolous lawsuits, and also which assist in situations in which you might have to sue yourself. Obviously it would depend on the conditions of what happened in any particular case as to whether a policy would apply.

  58. That is really good to know.

    Now the next question is, is the person within the United States? I know that when I dealt with my cyber bullies (one of them sent me a photograph of a firing squad with the caption that said, “Shut the f– up, b— …. Yes, it was lovely) … some were in other countries. They were very gleeful to let me know that, too. In other words, they knew that our legal system couldn’t touch them.

    If this person is an American citizen and she gave false or slanderous information that cost another person income and/or reputation, that’s a strong case for libel.

    What a mess, but I’m glad we’re all discussing it here. It seems like the more we’re aware of it, the more people can protect themselves.

    • servetus

      In the interest of not outing the person I think it’s best if those who know don’t say where she is. However, her location is known.

      As regards international bullying — laws are changing, as I learned recently. You can start a harassment complaint in the U.S. and at least have it looked into, if not necessarily prosecuted due to differing national laws, in other countries.

      • Considering how people can get extradited to the USA for prosecution when they shouldn’t be, one would hope people who SHOULD be also can be. Although sadly, this case would be too small for the authorities to want to bother, realistically. 😦 If the person had hacked into the Pentagon … they’d be all over them like a rash.

  59. Can’t we oppose this bully (I must say I fortunately have no idea who it may be) by doing something nice and e.g. providing fedoralady with an online ComicCon party?
    Perhaps a tweet session or we could try to bring down a Google+ Hangout or Chat with our collective RA-fandom ;o)

    Unfortunately I am nowhere near a computer over the weekend, but I think that could be a small kind of revenge to still enjoy ComicCon together. Though I understand that this might still hurt too much.

    By the way, I am for legal steps. Damaging one’s professional reputation would be treated as severely here as if the bully took out an knife and tried to hurt fedoralady.

    • servetus

      TORn just announced they are live blogging / tweeting the whole thing — so that would be a way for everyone to join in the fun, I think!

  60. I’ve heard this advertised: http://www.reputation.com Anyone know anything about it?

    • Hey, I just realized I didn’t reply to you about this reputation.com thing.

      When I was harassed, I looked into services like this. The problem was that they were a lot of money for my budget. However, after talking to one of the companies for some time on the phone, they graciously gave me one tip to combat the blog with the false information. Basically, I just had to tag all of my blog entries with my name. It was easy. The result was that whenever anyone searched my name, my blog entries came up first in the engines.Pretty soon, the blog that libeled me was pushed farther and farther down.

      Of course, this situation is different than what Angie experienced. But it helps to know these little tricks that you can do yourself without paying an arm and a leg for someone else to do it for you.

      I hope no one else has to experience this level of bullying, but we know it’s out there, and it helps all of us to share as much information as we can about it.

      It would be really sweet if Angie’s attacker faced some justice for the damage she’s inflicted. In the meantime, it helps that this generated a good discussion. I know I’m going to be super careful about interacting with that individual, i.e., staying as far as possible away.

  61. Northern gal

    Dear Cyber Bully–This is my first and only communication to you (though I have been keeping tabs on this for a long time).
    You are not as anonymous as you think and you have broken a number of laws. Knock it off. I’ve successfully represented people in Angie’s position so don’t think you can get away with your conduct without ramifications. Some day, you will get your true reward for your malicious conduct. That includes in this life and in whatever lies beyond it.
    By the way, it appears Mr. Armitage’s entire Army has come to Angie’s rescue armed with love and concern. Who’s in your corner, “honey”?

  62. LostinaGoodbook

    If it’s any consolation, this person’s efforts to “police” the fandom are doomed to fail – because the fandom is about to go worldwide, far bigger than any one person could keep a watch on even if they made it their full time job. I’m so sorry they targeted fedoralady, who is always so kind, enthusiastic and positive in outlook, and would have made a great representative at ComicCon. But it’s a warning – not everyone online is friendly and benign, and the online world is not separate from the real world.

    • servetus

      My theory about it was exactly that — that we’re about to drown in new fans who have different standards even from ours. Since my own most recent unpleasant online experience, I’ve learned just how free-spirited and essentially libertarian fans in other fandoms are, and I welcome that. It’s on our horizon already with tumblr. However, that doesn’t mean this person won’t try to continue what she’s doing, because she’s already shown herself immune to rationality.

      Re the benignity point: presumably that should apply to the perpetrator in this case, too.

      • LostinaGoodbook

        Judging by the offers of legal advice fedoralady has received, very much so!

  63. Again, may I say thank you to everyone for your encouragement and kindness and support. That’s the REAL Richard Armitage community shining forth. Some of your comments have made me laugh-and I needed that–and some have made me cry, but in a positive sort of way. I was actually able to take a restful nap this afternoon and that sort of thing hasn;t been happening much lately.

    And Servetus, I am all for free-spiritedness and a bit of cheekiness. 😉 Northern gal, I think I know where I could find good legal counsel 😀

    RAblogger, thanks for the shout-out for my vids. I have had lots of fun making those.
    Right now, the songs that keep popping into my head are “Witchy Woman,” “Evil Woman” and “American Woman–Stay Away from Me . . .” but none of those apply to RA or his characters. Maybe Sarah Caulfield?? 😉

  64. Anonymous

    I’m delurking (is that even a word?) to throw my support for fedoralady. It took me all of 10 minutes to figure out who this person is and after reading some of her crap…..its easy to see she’s so full of herself. What a sad pathetic life………

  65. @Fedoralady I would agree on the Sarah Caulfield assessment, except that’s actually an insult to Sarah Caulfield. 😛 You know it’s pretty bad when we have to say, “Oh poor Sarah, don’t compare her to HER!”

    Ask me how I really feel about this person. 😀

    • You do have a point there, lovemrthornton–and I never thought I would feel THAT way about Ms. Caulfield, a character who managed to suck the life out of every scene in which she appeared. 😉

  66. BTW, I just wanted to say to all of the anonymous “de-lurkers,” y’all rock!

  67. Cute_popsicle

    We should all bully each other to practice and to toughen each other up, LOL! “Wax on, wax off.”

  68. servetus

    Here’s a way to do something for others — an ongoing initiative for RA fans to donate blood or food:

    http://funkybluedandelion.blogspot.com/2012/07/off-road-spreading-love.html

  69. Pingback: More Hobbit News than Richard Armitage as Thorin Oakenshield Can Shake his Orchrist At, 7/12/12 Gratiana Lovelace (Post #229) | Something About Love (A)

  70. I understand and agree with what has been said about not ‘outing’ the person concerned in this, but I have found myself feeling more and more angry and the thought of this perpetrator getting off scot free again. I have followed the comments and views with regard to legal action, as a member of the legal profession, but long ago. As do the others, I think fedora lady has cause. The person has not only harrassed her, been utterly vile to her and cause upset to fedoralady and her family but has also harmed her professionally. It is for fedora lady to decide whether she wishes to opt for legal action, but even if not, I wholeheartedly agree with servetus that the person in question should be very aware that while the people she’s harassed so far haven’t taken legal action, BUT that this may well not always be the case. Her luck may be running out, as it were. She has, thus far, assumed she can continue her actions with impunity and should, perhaps, re-think. I know it is being said that she is mentally unbalanced but whether this is so or not, such behaviour must be curtailed if it is at all possible.

  71. Fedoralady, how Clint Eastwood said in Heartbreak Ridge movie: “Don’t give the prick the satisfaction”. Please go back to Your blog and still do what You love. She will pay for it anyway.

  72. Anonymous

    Dear Angie, I´m stunned with what I just have read about your cancellation of your participation in CC. I never thought that this kind of thing could happen.What a ill mind could do such evil thing? Sure it´s envious of you because, she knows you are very loved for many people who visiting your blog and for others bloggers too. I was so happy for you.You would be representant all we RA fans.I´m very sad with all this and imagine how hard is for you have accepted this . Don´t be sad because of these ” small persons” .They don´t deserve your sadness. Stay in peace, my dear friend, take care of your health and …please, don´t abandon us. You have made many of we very happy when we are visiting your blog.It ís ” um luxo “.
    We love you, don´t forget about it!
    Hugs!

  73. Dear Angie, I´m stunned with what I just have read about your cancellation of your participation in CC. I never thought that this kind of thing could happen.What a ill mind could do such evil thing? Sure it´s envious of you because, she knows you are very loved for many people who visiting your blog and for others bloggers too. I was so happy for you.You would be representant all we RA fans.I´m very sad with all this and imagine how hard is for you have accepted this . Don´t be sad because of these ” small persons” .They don´t deserve your sadness. Stay in peace, my dear friend, take care of your health and …please, don´t abandon us. You have made many of we very happy when we are visiting your blog.It ís ” um luxo “.
    We love you, don´t forget about it!
    Hugs!

  74. Beachbaby

    Well the person has outed herself! I don’t know the history so cannot comment on that but I am puzzled about the photoshopped bride & groom pic being used as some sort of example of “obsession” by Angie. Goodness it’s just a hoot!
    Seriously though, this person has made a huge assumption about Angie’s motives and the motives of all others working at Comic-Con. Despite what she has said I believe her real reason for contacting CBR was spite. I think the “lady” doth protest too much.

  75. fitzg

    Just a thought and it is only personal: whatever I think of “the person of interest”, I prefer not to label even that person, on a public blog, as mentally disturbed etc. Because I don’t KNOW that. Nor am I in favour of “outing”. The bloggers know, and those of us who have been reading these blogs for a couple of years have a good, and I’m sure, accurate idea of the blog pseudonym. Again, outing serves no purpose. The pattern of behaviour becomes apparent. BUT a line appears to have been crossed, in terms of causing loss to reputation, profession and finance. I have no legal training, but this episode, based on what we’ve read in AW is disturbing. A misuse of power?!!! Whatever that power is…

    fedoralady, just take good care of your health. You know that you have friends close, and more friends (many) in the blogsphere.

    • Dear old KK has definitely crossed the line with her antics this time. And I will say “KK” instead of “that woman” because she went and outed herself at IMDB, displaying her gall and rampant hypocrisy for one and all to see.

      It’s not just that she manipulated the people at CBR into thinking I was some sort of out-of-control nutcase resutling in the loss of a paying reporting position after months of being out of work and in pain. It’s not just the pain and disappointment she caused to my family, friends and readers.

      It’s also the fact she has attempted to blacken the reputation of this entire community. She’s basically painted us all with the same dirty brush. I am to be crucified for having a good imagination and lively sense of humor? Pardon me for being creative!

      I’ve done my best to stay away from this woman ever since she attacked my fanfic. I did not respond to the two blistering tirades she left at my Live Journal page. I didn’t want to stoop to her nasty little level.

      I hate fighting. I love peace and harmony.. But lines have been crossed and if she isn’t reined in, who knows how much more aggressive her behavior may become?

      No, I can’t say whether or not she is certfiably mentally ill or not, although signs certainly do indicate something is seriously wrong. Without a doubt, she is mean, vindictive, and quite wicked in her behavior.

      Thanks, fitzg, for your support. Sorry for my tirade, but I’ve just realized I am mad as hell and not ready to take it anymore.

  76. fitzg

    Good for you, Madame! Yes, she did let the cat out of the bag, so to speak. 😀

    A traumatic time for you. And you have handled it with grace. What other target bloggers suffered was bad enough. But this has been beyond.. Just take care of youself, and your health.

    Another big issue is that, while the actor is not involved in the activities of fans and supporters in any way, nevertheless, malice spreads ripples. Regrettable is an understatement.

    • Yeah, the kitty is indeed out of the bag. LOL

      You can pick on me and try to push me around, but when, through your actions, you start creating collateral damage to my family and friends and, yes, to an actor and human being I greatly admire and respect, well, that does get me riled up. Does she never or care about the potential harm she can do? *sigh* Too caught up in a sort of smug, self-righteous zeal.

      I have felt, understandably, pretty lousy, but I’m trying to regroup. I’ve started posting again.

  77. fitzg

    P.S. the person has no sense of humour…that is a bit of a handicap. 😀

    • Yeah, I have to agree. Obviously HER dad didn’t teach her the importance of “a little laughter in life.” 😉
      And I can only believe Mr. A does have a really lovely sense of humour. 😀

  78. Yes, I’ve just been over to IMDB and the stupid cow is ranting on sanctimoniously. She even had the gall to willingfully misquote (or misunderstand I don’t think she is the kind of person to take in anything anyone else says) an argument I had with her. For God’s sake don’t engage with her on IMDB. Please don’t anyone increase this IMDB thread because the more people join in on IMDB, the more she makes us look like loonies.

    It just bothers me that anyone outside our community can now go on there and see her insane drivel.

    • Forgive the typos – I was anger-typing! 😉

    • I always did my best to avoid her after that initial contact when I responded at my blog to her nastiness about my fanfic she posted at IMDB. I never responded to either of her poison pen posts at LJ.

      She wants to engage you in an argument so she can try to browbeat you to death if possible. She thrives on it, lives for it. Yes, avoid any contact with her. Don’t engage in a war of words there with her. She will use it to her advantage if she can. And you can’t win with her because she will never concede the possiblity she might be wrong.

      Shame on IMDB for allowing that woman to hold the board hostage there. In fact, IMDB is often a very toxic place and I avoid their message boards.

  79. SuzyQ

    I delurked and posted anonymously a few days ago. I am anonymous no more!!! Like I said earlier…it took me all of 10 minutes to find the wacko. I’ve read her rantings on the IMDB board before. Mercy…that girl just loves to go on and on and on……
    Am I going crazy or hasn’t she written her own FanFic? And wasn’t that a bit racy as well??? So perhaps she needs to put herself in the category of being an over zealous fan. Isn’t she being a bit hypocritical??

    • You should have seen how she went on and on and on at me on two posts to my LJ blog. after I stood up for myself there for being ripped apart for my John Porter fanfic at IMDB. Oh, all I ” want to do is screw Richard Armitage,” did you know that? That’s what KK says, and surely she can’t be wrong.

      Ask me if I have written any fanfic that involved physical relationships which involved anything other than RA’s characters–NEVER Richard– other established series characters and my own fictional creations. There’s my highly benign PG-rated Sloth Fiction series, where I am in the guise of Ladywriter. No sex.

      And yes, she’s written fanfic, including fanfic with sex scenes, and she’s written in the first person. But that’s OK for her because she’s morally superior to the rest of us mere peons, you see.

      She is being plenty hypocritical. The plain fact of the matter is, I did nothing to justify what she did to me.

      She was in the wrong, plain and simple. If she doesn’t like or agree with what some people in the fandom do, there was no earthly reason to tarnish ME and my professional reputation. And there will be repurcussions for her actions. Count on it.

  80. RavenRoseBeetle

    Okay, so here is my idea. We plan for next year. I assume even if the press pass was revoked this year it isn’t a permanent revocation. We write testimonial’s on Fedoralady’s behalf so this won’t happen again. We continue fundraising on PayPal. There’s a Hobbit #2 coming December 2013. I’m sure PJ, RA and the gang will be at Comic-Con next year. Let’s work on Fedoralady’s Comic-Con Adventure 2013!! And anyone who can get a guest pass for 2013 try to get one when they become available. It looks like pre-registration for passes for 2013 begins next month, August 2012. Even if we can’t get someone out there with a press pass, surely we can get someone in as a fan.

    Here’s the info: http://www.comic-con.org/cci/cci_reg_prereg.php

    That’s only if Fedoralady is up for it. What do you say, Angie?

    • I have discussed with Servetus the possibility of going ahead and getting tickets for next year if possible It was only CBR rescinding my pass at practically the last minute and not being able to secure another that kept me from going this year. People tried to help but there just wasn’t one to be had. 😦

      I may not be able to secure a press pass, but NOBODY can stop me from going as a fan. It’s not like I am some wanted criminal or dangerous threat to RA or anybody else, no matter what some people would lead you to believe . . . this whole thing was incredibly upsetting, of course, but I have to say everyone’s kindness, support and encouragement have made such a difference.

      It allowed me to be able to enjoy CC this weekend and seeing Richard if only from afar.

      You guys are great. You are the true RA fans. 😀

      • You’re welcome Angie. 🙂

        I’m happy that you’re going better and to see that you write new posts on your blog again. It’s great to see you back.

  81. Cruelty of any type is, in my opinion, a form of insanity. It indicates a basic lack of intelligence in relating to the rest of the world, as well as a skewed sense of self.

    I’m actually heartened by the overwhelming response of the entire RA community in support of Angie. This ‘happening’ has been an aberration which has only served to unite us in our intention to be a supportive, kind community.

    The RA fandom will be what we make it. If we as as individuals and as a whole reject hatred, jealously, and other base tendencies, we are defining our own standards and creating the community we want.

    Sorry, Angie, for the opportunity lost to you. If it were up to the RA fandom, we’d have you report at the next big event.

    I’m happy to be a small voice in such a caring group of fans.

  82. The IMDB thread seem to have been taken down! Hurrah!

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