Dear Mr. Armitage,
Your devoted fans miss you. We know that you are off in New Zealand, having a fabulous time making The Hobbit. However, that doesn’t mean you have to fall off the face of the earth. Many of your costars have managed to remain in the public eye. That Cumberbatch guy won’t shut up, and Nesbitt? How many interviews has that guy given? Stephen Fry, he’s gotten tons of attention.
It pains me to inform you, but defection has become something of an issue. There are some fans who just can’t handle this drought. Rather than endure the stress of having to make do with past productions, interviews, pictures and such, they have resorted to following other actors. You don’t want to lose too many fans to the likes of Michael Fassbender, simply because he has better publicity, do you? While, I don’t personally understand the Fassy appeal, it is easy to understand following an actors career when there is new stuff to see, read and watch.
Then sir, there is the problem of the poor fans who are desperately seeking information as if it were a mirage in the desert. These poor ladies have gone so far as to mistake images of Aidan Turner for you. Perhaps it is the fact that Mr. Turner actually spoke in that last production video. Whatever the cause, this phenomenon has been well documented. Given the fact that you and Aidan Turner look nothing alike, surely you can see how severe this problem is. In light of these issues, perhaps you will take pity on your devoted followers.
Don’t miss understand me, we appreciate that you value your privacy, but could you possibly do some interviews, a photo shoot or perhaps just talk in the next production video? Your PR people seem to be failing you. We worry what this lack of exposure means for your career in the future. That being said, perhaps it is time for a change. There are several talented women who have many interesting ideas for getting your name out to the public. Perhaps you should consider them for your PR team. After all, they only have your best interests at heart.